We were driving up Eagleridge drive the other day when a car came from the
left on Cynthia way and drove right in front of us. I put on the brakes and
avoided an accident. Your grandmother asked me why I didn't honk the horn. I
replied that I was more concerned about stopping than sounding the
klaxon.
I then repeated to her a quote from my youth.
In this grave lies Willie Gray
He died while maintaining his right of way
Although he was right as he sped along
He's just as dead as if he were wrong.
This is Stubbornness
Stubbornness is a good quality to have if used in the right way. A better
term would be persistence. Stubbornness denotes inflexibility and like Willy
Gray it can end up in disaster or even death.
You will come in contact with stubborn people in your life. They're
inflexible in their thinking and may bump up against you and want to interfere
with your agency. They are controlling and manipulative in their behavior and
actions. Even if they are in the right, if they understand the gospel, they
will allow you the freedom to make your own choices.
The right way to interact with people is with persuasion and gentleness and
love unfeigned.
Persistence is a good quality to cultivate, but do not be stubborn.
Now let us talk about being right. We see in the news almost every day where
people try to use coercion because they think they are right. I have
addressed coercion
here
Recent events show that if a state wants to pass a law that other people
without the state to do not like they get up in arms and get the media
involved and try to coerce that state into changing their law because the
people without the state do not agree. They do not think that other people have
the right to disagree with what they believe is right.
When I was growing up my brothers and I often would complain that things
were not fair. As I have matured, I have realized that we cannot have
everything fair or perfect in this life. Elder Holland said that if everything were fair in this life Jesus would not have been crucified.
Thus what you think is right may not be, unless it comes from the Lord. Even then
we may not infringe our will upon the rights of others, especially if we are
doing it in a controlling manner.
We may end up like Willy Gray and die spiritually while trying to steady the
ark and maintain our insistence on being right.
Do not be so determined that you are right that you do not allow for the
fact that others may have differing opinions and use the gospel of Jesus Christ and the revealed word as your standard.
Love,
Grandpa
Fool's hill
No, this is not a place in Lander Wyoming.
When I was growing up my grandmother Gee used to talk about trying to get
adolescents over Fool's Hill. This was a common expression at that
time. We do not hear it so much anymore.
This refers to the experience of going
through the process of maturation in our thoughts and feelings and
understanding of life and how we approach it.
Some individuals go through a rather
difficult time as they mature and go through the teenage years. Many of them
want to push the boundaries and exert their independence.
Historically this has been the time when
many lose their association with the church and its teachings. This is the time
when most of the runaways from the family occur. Thus it takes time and
patience on the part of the parent to understand what is going on and to try to
gently persuade the child that self-destructive behavior will only bring pain
and sorrow.
In medicine we call this myopia.
Short-sightedness, or myopia, is a very common eye condition that causes
distant objects to appear blurred, while close objects can be seen clearly.
Myopia in this sense doesn't refer to the eye, but to the brain and emotional
makeup of the individual. If you can’t see the consequences of your
decisions, then you are not able to make them wisely.
I recently found on the Internet a little
explanation of this. I will give you the link here.
There is a little book that was written by a
medical school classmate of mine. It is
entitled “From Play Pens To Proving Grounds”.
In it he describes the process of helping children make proper
choices. It fits into the principles of
teaching correct principles and then letting people govern themselves and
persuasion, long suffering, gentleness and meekness and love unfeigned. Then comes reproof when moved upon by the
Holy Ghost and afterwards showing forth an increase of love.
When Elder Neal A. Maxwell came to our stake
conference in Riverton, he taught that we should give deserved, specific
praise. No one likes to be told all the
time about how in error your actions are.
Every one would like to have an “atta boy” on a regular basis. This means that just telling someone that
they are doing well is not enough. They
need to know that someone noticed that they did specifically well on a specific
task. He said that he received the
standard typewritten release letter from his mission president, but that the
mission president hand wrote a few lines at the bottom and that he had been
going on those comments for years.
Every one needs encouragement to get over
Fool’s Hill. We all make mistakes and
have to realize that we cannot escape the consequences of our choices.
Now my grandchildren, be wise! Make wise
choices so that climbing Fool”s Hill will not be such a difficult task.
What more can I say?
Love,
Grandpa
