Just say no
Sometimes we are put in a position where we have to make a decision with a
definitive yes or no answer. For most people it is easier to acquiesce than to
say no. More often than not we are ‘wankelmütig’ or ambivalent. We may really
want to say no, but we are then influenced by peer pressure or what some may
call situation ethics.
Each of us must learn to distinguish between principle and preference
The gospel of Jesus Christ and his commandments give to us the basic principles
of life. We are free to add others of our own, for we are agents unto
ourselves. If we make them a part of our internal fabric we will then have a
set of principles upon which to base our yes or no answers.
In the biography of president Spencer W. Kimball he relates that while
milking cows he would say to himself, "I Spencer Kimball will never drink
coffee. " He then would repeat this and insert the other commandments and
principles of the gospel until he had covered them all. He would do this every
time he milked the cow. Eventually they became such a part of his fabric that
when he came to a situation where principles we involved there was no
hesitation as to his response.
If it is a decision of preference it really doesn't matter what our
responses are, it will not in any way affect our happiness or eternal
salvation.
As a simple example of preference I have used the trip to the candy store.
One has many choices. You may choose to purchase a Snickers with Almonds or a
Lindor bar. This a preference. Your companion my try to get you to buy a
box of licorice instead and be very insist and persuasive. You might give in
and buy the licorice even though you would prefer the Lindor bar just to keep
him off your back. There is no harm in this, because it is just a preference
and does not have eternal consequences. But given the same scenario with the
choice to obey or disobey one of God's commandments, the same pressure may be
applied and if we choose not to say no we may hurt ourselves or others or
both.
I was listening to a rebroadcast of a BYU devotional this same morning that
I wrote this. It fits nicely into this
theme. You can read or listen to it.
Click Here
Learn to say no. It will save you much heartache and grief.
Love,
Grandpa
We recently attended a funeral of a good friend in Riverton,Wyoming. There
were many flowers in the church and the casket was covered with flowers.
The speakers gave the deceased many compliments and extolled her virtues. You
may ask if we sent flowers as well. Although we were very good friends and had
traveled Europe together, we did not send flowers.
We have done the flower sending in the past. This time we took into account the
the saying that my grandmother Gee was fond of quoting. "A rose to the
living is worth sumptuous wreaths to the dead "
Our friend was in the terminal stages of cancer. We called her and talked to
her. She wanted some support and asked for some suggestions of books to read
that might help her through the process of dying.
We did send her a book and some suggestions. She was appreciative and when
we talked to her later, she said that it helped.
What she needed at that time was our figurative rose while she was living.
She could not appreciate flowers after her death.
People need to be appreciated while they are living, not after they are
gone.
Too often we miss the opportunity to connect with people. There are many
people who would appreciate a small token of affection or word of kindness. We
often miss the opportunity to give deserved specific praise to those who have
unexpressed needs.
If we are sensitive to the spirit, we will be a messenger to comfort and
elevate the souls of God's children.
Please read the words of the hymn "Have I done any good in the world
today? "
Can you think of someone you can give a rose to today?
Love,
Grandpa
No, I haven’t gone off my rocker and forgotten about using double
negatives and colloquialisms.
My brothers and I used to tease one another with the above phrase. When one of us would do something rather
stupid the other would say. “Ain't ya got no smarts?” Then the reply was. “ I
got a lotta know, but no smarts.”
I thought this might be a good subject for a Blog to my grandchildren.
My
parents used to quote scripture to us occasionally and particularly this quote
from Proverbs chapter 4 verse 7 “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting
get understanding.”
There is a difference between wisdom and knowledge. Wisdom is the correct use of the knowledge
that we have acquired. There is a lot
of useless knowledge floating around these days. Also not all of us have the
same store of knowledge that we have acquired.
Our first parents gave us the opportunity to learn the most important thing
we are here on earth to experience.
They partook of the fruit of the tree and became as the gods, knowing
how to discern between good and evil.
Now to quote a TV commercial from Chuckarama, “The choice is yours”. The
choice really is ours.
To further address this topic I recently read this quote from president
Joseph F. Smith.
“Christ inherited his intelligence from his Father. There is a difference
between knowledge and pure intelligence. Satan possesses knowledge, far more
than we have, but he has not intelligence or he would render obedience to the
principles of truth and right. I know men who have knowledge, who understand
the principles of the Gospel, perhaps as well as you do, who are brilliant, but
who lack the essential qualification of pure intelligence. They will not accept
and render obedience thereto. Pure intelligence comprises not only knowledge,
but also the power to properly apply that knowledge.”
So, just the acquisition of the pool of knowledge that is available to us is
not enough. We have to have pure
intelligence or “smarts” to be able to properly live our lives to the full
potential.
We have to be able properly use the knowledge we acquire in this life. We can be members of Christ’s church and
have gospel knowledge, but if we are not wise and use pure intelligence or
"smarts" we will fall short of our true potential. Eventually we will be with those who are “weeping and wailing and
gnashing our teeth”.
I recently listened to a father’s blessing given to me when I went into the
Navy. My father had never given a
father’s blessing to any of his children that I knew of. I think that I was the first of his children
to ask him. He was a patriarch in the church at that time, but was not familiar
with father’s blessings. It was not
well known throughout the church at that time, nor was it frequently
practiced. We learned about it from our
bishop Oscar McConkie when we were in his ward my first year of medical school.
In the father’s blessing I was told that I would be wise in my generation.
I do
not know if I have lived up to that promise.
Most of us do not live up to our potential, but we should never stop
acquiring knowledge, wisdom and understanding.
There is a German poem, “Lirum Laurum Löffelstiel”, which I will not
reproduce here, but the essence is that small children ask a lot of questions.
“Why is the rain wet? Why is the grass green” etc. We need to
be like the small children and ask a lot of questions. There is not a day that
should pass that we do not learn something new or improve our life.
So with Jacob chapter 6 verse 12, I say,” O be wise;
what can I say more?”
Love,
Grandpa
