Listening to the Lord

I had been a stake president for a few years and had no problem in knowing which person to call in any of the stake positions that became available. Then there came a time when I had a difficulty in knowing who to call. It did not come easily as it had in the first few years. One day the regional representative came to Lander to visit me. We talked about a number of things. I mentioned to him about my seeming lack of ability to receive inspiration.

He had no counsel for me. I suggested that perhaps I should be released as the stake president. Nothing happened. One day I was in what we called our celestial room and pondering. I heard a voice in my mind saying, "If you want to be like me, you are going to have to think like me."

I then realized that I had to do what the Lord would do if he were here, do my homework. I would need to consider the needs of the stake, learn to know the people and their strengths and experience. Then after I had made a decision I took it to The Lord for his approval.

“We shall never have the keys of authority committed to us to be rulers until we will rule just as God would rule if he were here himself. 14:97.”
— Discourses of Brigham Young by John A. Widtsoe, Brigham Young

You too can listen to the Lord.  Try it you will like it.

Disappointment is a part of life.

Disappointment is a part of life.

Every one will have disappointments in their life.  I have had some in my life.  I wish to share some experiences with my grandchildren that perhaps they might know that every thing has not gone smoothly in my life.  Some may look at my life and think that I had every thing go smoothly without bumps along the way.  This is not the case.  I will detail only a few of these incidents for your consideration. There have been many more.

I once asked my father if he had ever had any disappointments in his life, he said he did, but he never shared them with me, nor did he detail them in any of his journals or history.

I had applied to be the doctor at the Jerusalem Center of Brigham Young University.  I had heard about this position and thought that I would retire and work as the doctor in Jerusalem. I made application but I was rejected.  Apparently my son John had angered the person responsible for appointing the doctor at the Jerusalem center.  When I asked for them to consider my application, I was told that I did not need to apply again.

Our friend Mary Kocherhans' father was a doctor at the MTC in Provo.  He retired and so I applied to fill that position. I did not hear anything from them, so I went down to the MTC one day to ask why I had not heard anything.  The secretary told me she could not find my application.  They said they must have lost it. The position was filled.

This is similar to what happened to my application for an obstetric residency at LDS hospital. For a link to this click here.

We have to learn to deal with disappointment. Every thing cannot go our way in life. It was not designed to go that way here in mortality. We would not learn to do anything in this life if everything were easy.  In Second Nephi Chapter two we learn that there must be an opposition in all things. We can learn from it or we can let it occupy our thoughts and mind to the point that it embitters us.  Rise above your disappointments! 

Love,

Grandpa

Know your ancestors

You might want to print this out and answer the questions.  If you have trouble answering the questions, you can always ask. 

Where was your mother born?

Where was your father born?

How many siblings does your mother have?

Can you name them?

How many siblings does your father have?

Can you name them?

How many first cousins do you have?

Where was your grandmother Gee born?

What was her maiden name?

Where was your grandfather Gee born?

Where was your other grandmother born?

What was her maiden name?

Where was your other grandfather born?

What did he do for a living?

You had 2 ancestors who were general authorities in the church.  Can you name them?

The first Gee to come into the United States settled in Connecticut.  What did he do for a living?

His grandson moved to Ohio near to the town of Kirtland.  He did not join the church, which was organized in 1830, but his son joined the church in 1832.  What was his name?

Your grandmother Gee's ancestor had a vision.  What was that vision and what was her name?

How did it influence her to join the church.

True or False?

You had ancestors who came from:

1. England

2. France

3. Switzerland

4. Germany

5. Australia

6. Denmark

7. Holland

8. Baltic States

9. Russia

10. Greece

11. Africa

12. China

13. Mexico

14. South America

15. Wales

16. Scotland

17. Ireland

18. Austria

19. Italy

How Newton's Three Laws of Motion apply to raising children and dealing with people.

Or why didn't I take physics more seriously.

I am not really one to offer advice, but I will give to you some of the results of my pondering about motivation problems.  This is not the first time I have talked to someone about this, but I have found that if I write things down I can crystallize the thought better and work it around until it makes more sense.  So I do not promise you words of wisdom, but musings on the subject.  You can blow the chaff away and keep whatever is helpful, or throw it all out.  It would be nice if we could all just open the tap and pour out unadulterated wisdom into our glasses and drink deeply, but we must ponder and pray and study it out for it to make any sense in our life.

I didn't quite remember the three laws in order so I had to go to the trusty Internet and pull these off.  They are not stated exactly as I remembered them, but where I differ from the Internet, I will use my own version.

"A body at rest tends to remain at rest and a body at motion tends to remain in motion unless acted on by some other force."  This also takes into account Galileo's law of inertia, which comes into play also.  The Internet version was: "Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it."

In human behavior we tend to want to stay in our own path and do "our own thing".  We do not change our behavior unless there is some impetus to do so.  We have to be enticed!  Thus we become agents to be acted upon and not agents to act.   It is rationalization to say that we will not follow what is prudent, because we want to make up our own mind.  It is the way of the world to be "sophisticated" (a term that means we resort to sophistry instead of reason, but it sounds like we are making up our own mind so we feel that this is preferred).  Satan is so devious that he makes black look white and would have us think that every one else has the same opinion.

So the inexperienced and the unwary are soon led to believe that when we want to change human behavior all we have to do is exert the force in the proper direction and tell them how it is and should be done, or how we think that the matter should go, and lo the desired behavior will be exhibited.  When we want a behavior to stop, we exert a force in an opposite direction and if enough force is applied then the progress in that direction will stop and that behavior will be extinguished.  If the direction is wrong, all we need to do is exert a small amount of force and the direction will be changed.  We will have accomplished our goal and our will reigns supreme.  

In the church we often do this and pat our selves on the back saying how we have helped the individual to correct the error of his ways.  In our society this force can be verbal (tell them how the cow ate the cabbage), physical (spanking or other forms of physical punishment), or emotional (threatening to withdraw love or esteem).  

In most cases we then bring Newton's Third Law into play which is: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  When someone forces us to do anything we usually react in one of two ways.  Both yield the same result.  We may either yield to the pressure until it is removed and then return to the original state, or we may resist with equal and opposite force and not move or change at all.  

In dealing with human behavior we have to realize that every person is an agent unto himself or herself and that we have no power or influence (those words should ring a bell) over another.  Somewhere in my tenure as a father I came to the realization that I had absolutely no ability to control my children.  I told some of the later children that one day they would come to the realization that they did not have to do anything that I told them to do.  I was powerless to stop them from any action that they wished to engage in.  If they wanted to smoke, I could do nothing to prevent it.  If they wanted to stay out all night I could not do anything to prevent it.  I could only use persuasion and appeal to their innate common sense.

I learned that trying to physically keep some one from doing something was a waste of effort and only would lead to alienation.  We hope that the repetition of the principles of the gospel will in some way cause the individual to desire to bring his behavior into socially acceptable parameters.
   
A "chewing out" is also unsuccessful as a way to manage behavior.  It is classified now days as "verbal abuse".  It only makes us who are receiving the tongue lashing reticent to confide or be intimate with the person who administers the reproof, thus widening the breech and accomplishing the opposite of the intended goal.  I grew up in that kind of environment and it took me a number of years to change my approach.  I hope that I have done better as I have grown older.

"I don't like you any more."  Is a 5 year-old response to dealing with our interpersonal relationships.  We may be hurt by one person's actions, and at times very deeply, but our reaction to their reaction does not solve the problem, but only widens the gap and increases the distrust.  For someone who is used to dealing on an action-reaction basis, they find it difficult and frustrating to come up with someone who is non-aggressive.  In the business world they regard such people as "pushovers".  I regard contention as counterproductive.  I always have and now it makes me extremely uncomfortable.
   
The second law of motion is the interrelationship of mass, acceleration, and force.  The formula is F=ma.  The assumption is that the velocity is constant.  Force only changes the increase in velocity because in the first law, the motion remains constant unless acted upon by a force.  In this case I would suggest that the mass is our sins and ignorance of the Lord's laws and commandments.  

When we decrease our sins and our ignorance of him and his perfections and increase our knowledge of the gospel, then we, with the same force, will increase our acceleration toward him, thus the statement of Alma that he said that the Word of God had a great effect on changing people.  

I have been reading the priesthood manual and the lesson Sunday was on the scriptures in our life [this was some time ago].  It is strange, but true, that when a person neglects prayer and scripture reading he stagnates.  The mass remains the same and the acceleration remains the same.  Therefore progress and maturation are impeded.  

I have often marveled at the chastisement the Lord gives to the prophet Joseph Smith and the other leaders in the church in the 93^rd section of the Doctrine and Covenants.  There is no roaring.  No vitriol.  It was just a simple statement of fact, plain and to the point.  Probably for Joseph that was enough because his spirit was meek.  To those who were self-important it probably had little impact on their lives, because, as you know, the spirit does not (always) strive with an individual.
  
To try and pull this all together I used to tell the Teachers quorum that the only force that could move them was their own.  We used the scripture that the natural man was an enemy to God and would be, until he yielded to the enticings (I really like that word because it denotes no use of force but the enabling of the individual agency) of the spirit and putting off the natural man and becoming a Saint.  

For parents that is where patience and long-suffering come into play.  There is plenty of that needed and more than enough to spare, because very few people use it.  At times we cannot see into the future far enough in advance to determine what the outcome will be.  We despair, we wonder, and we would like to sometimes take up a cudgel to hammer some sense into what appears to us as senseless indifference.

Our timetable is arbitrary and self determined from our wisdom and (in)experience.  We eventually will have to learn to wait upon the Lord and remember that before they were ours they were His.  

If we have done all that we were asked of by the Lord and the prophets in teaching our children correct principles, then there will come a time when we must leave it in the Lord's hands.  Any last minute scrambling on our part is counterproductive and useless.  Love unfeigned will always win the day in the end.  Fortunately in our case we have good children who love the Lord, a fact that I will ever be grateful for, because I do not think that I am worthy of you, but am glad that He sent me you to teach.

Love,

Grandpa

An unfinished letter

[This letter was written July 27 2007, but was never completed.  It is now sent to you, because it contains some of my sentiments today.  It is not as moving as Shubert's Unfinished Symphony, which I used to play in the high school band.]

    A letter to my children for their edification and not for public distribution.  I have pondered and prayed and thought much about some things that I will write to you about.  It is an amalgamation of my experience and the teachings of church leaders and a sense of what is written in the scriptures.  It is my idea and understanding and what I think I ought to share with you, my fellow servants in the kingdom, my children and my friends.

    There is a basic reason for life, family and marriage in this existence.  It was put very simply in the book of Genesis and the instructions given to Adam and Eve.  We are to come to earth and become one with our mates, multiply and replenish the earth, learn the saving principles of the gospel, and teach them to our children that they also may have eternal life.

    The revelation indicates that joy is the reason for this existence, but also indicated that it will not be full until the "Day of the Lord Jesus Christ".

    It is therefore a matter of faith, because the joy that we seek is neither a reward for present labors nor constant reinforcement for our deeds here in this laboratory of learning.

    It was not until we adopted Philip that I came to a conscious realization that a parent commits at least 18 years of his life to another human being each time a child is invited into the home.  We certainly cannot be so selfish and self centered that we refuse to take into our home all the children that the Lord sees fit to bless us with.  When we look at the eternal perspective, that our dedication to those principles is really the work of the Lord, we are overwhelmed by the magnitude of the assignment which we share with the Lord.  I am glad that the Lord was unselfish enough to provide me with my spiritual body.

    The provision of a body, however, is a minor part of the assignment of a parent.  We were instructed by all.. (and here it ends.  I will one day remember what I was going to write next.)

To text or not to text, that is the question

To text or not to text, that is the question

We live in a digital age. There is no question about that. Some people send over 200 text messages every day.  Some parents have enormous phone bills because of the unlimited number of text messages sent by their children.  Now they have plans with unlimited texting, so the financial impediment to texting is removed for some people.

Let us look at another aspect of the situation.  Time is the next factor.  How much time is taken to text a message? A good typist must really exert to keep up with dictation. Court reporters use a special machine using shorthand to keep up with the spoken word. Thus speed of communication favors the spoken word over the input of texting on a phone. So the argument that it is a faster way to communicate does not hold water.  I have watched some people text and they only send cryptic messages while trying to carry on some other activity. I wonder if they can multi-task that effectively.

The advantage to text over voice is that there is a written record. How many people save their text messages and archive them? I would guess that less than ten percent and that would be high.
What is the reason for communication anyway? I bring up a few reasons why people communicate.
1. To express an opinion
2.To give directions
3. To inform
4. To express love
5. To get information
6. To validate
7. To give praise

The means of communication must be tailored to the task at hand.

I heard recently that two children were sitting in the back of the car. They both had their cell phones in hand. Each was text messaging the other, while sitting next to each other.  There is another case where teenagers were texting each other during sacrament meeting and worst of all during the passing of the sacrament.

I suppose that because one has the means to text that they use this as the excuse to do this as their primary means of communication. " I can do it, so that is the reason. "  For some the newness will never wear off and they will continue to express themselves in this mode.

We as a society seem to have become dissociated from each other and the less personal we are the more dissociated we become.

I can text.  It does not take a lot to learn to do this very simple procedure.

I recently received a text message that required me to answer. By the time that I had completed the back and forth exchange of information 45 minutes had passed.  I was driving in the car. I never text while driving. The next time that this happens I will not respond. The entire exchange of information could have taken three minutes by phone call at a maximum.

In answer to the question above, I choose to talk face to face. If this is not possible, I would rather have a phone conversation. My next preference would be written either on an e- mail or piece of paper.

The absolute best is to converse and then follow with written instructions.

Deceiving the very elect

Deceiving the very elect

In the 24th chapter of Matthew the Lord outlines some of the occurrences that will happen in the last days prior to His second coming. One of the statements that he made was; if it were possible even the very elect would be deceived, who were the elect according to the covenant.

This means that we as members of the church are those who Satan will try to deceive, because we are a covenant people and the elect of God. We have no reason to be smug. We have every reason to be wary and on our guard.  We are the prime targets. As in the “Screwtape Letters”, Satan doesn't have to worry about those who do not believe. He does not need to deceive those who do not believe or believe the wrong thing.  They are not a threat to his dominion, but those who are the covenant people; the elect are the ones he fights against.  They are his adversaries. Only we can thwart his work on the earth.

How does he deceive us? In the book of Moses in the Pearl of Great Price, Adam and Eve received instructions and told their posterity. Then Satan came among them and said, "Believe it not." They believed it not!  Thus Satan deceived the elect.

It is happening today. I will relate a couple of examples.  When Ezra Taft Benson was president of the church, he spoke out against working mothers, who worked to supply a second income for the family.  Many people derided the pronouncement as just the wild imagination of an old man.  Many are reaping the consequences of disregarding the warning of a prophet.

In 1995 the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles issued a proclamation to the world. It was called a proclamation on the family. It defined the role of gender and the role of the family. Yet many of the elect have adopted the philosophy of the world and have tried to redefine the concept of marriage.  They fail to realize that equality is only defined by God and not man's prerogative.  The consequences of this deception by Satan may not be apparent in the short term, but as time passes the results will be disastrous.

You might want to read the following talk by Elder Spencer W. Kimball or listen to it.  He talks about deceptive voices.

President Kimball on Voices