Growing up

Growing up 

As a pediatrician we had a graph to chart the child's progress with their height and weight. Then there was the Denver Developmental Scale to assess motor and social and cognitive development. 

As far as I know there is no nationally standardized check list for what people need to know and accomplish to be able to go out into the world and be prepared to take on the responsibility of living on their own without parental oversight. By the time you leave home you should be able to do the following. 

Be able to make your own bed every morning. Change the sheets and wash them once a week. 

Know how to clean a bathroom and vacuum the floor. Keep the living quarters clean by dusting the furniture and cleaning the floors. 

Be able to do your own laundry and press a suit of clothes. You should know that clothes need to be sorted before they are washed separately. Dark or colored clothes should not be washed together with white clothes. The dye from the dark clothes will bleed into the wash water and dye the white clothes. They then need to be folded neatly and put away. 

Be able to prepare and cook a balanced meal from scratch. 

Know the difference between principles and preference. 

Have a set of standards of conduct to make you a person of integrity. Be honest and truthful. Know the difference between right and wrong. What are you going to use as a standard?

Be able to converse with individuals of all ages. 

Be interested in learning and set and achieve goals. 

Be responsible for your own actions. Be kind to people. 

Understand the germ theory and how to keep healthy. 

Understand that there are consequences to all actions both good and bad. 

It is the role of the parent to teach and prepare the child to live as an adult. Too many young people get out into life ill prepared to handle the challenge that comes when they go out to college or into the work place. They are used to having most of the things and decisions made for them. 

Realize that both time and money require management and budgeting because once they are spent one can never bring them back. They are not reusable resources. Eventually we have to give an accounting for both. 

There was a recent article in the Deseret News newspaper that addresses this situation. I included it here. 

SALT LAKE CITY ̬ Whether it’s for college, travel, humanitarian or religious service, as parents we can decrease stress and increase a smooth transition for our children by using anticipation and the Basic 7: cook, clean, clothes, cash, car, communication and coping skills.
For most families, an effective tool is to anticipate the transition early on. This can ease fears, list needed skills and make routines meaningful. To keep it simple, you can create a transition timeline (don’t worry, it’s simple).
List the main transition ages in your family, such as 5, 8, 12, 16, 18 and 21. Choose the next upcoming transition, plan ahead, discuss what to expect and define new skills needed to make it a success.
Which brings us to the Basic 7, a few skills to successfully prepare our children to enter the real world (and to finally understand, Virginia, that there is no Cleaning Fairy).
1. Cook
Teach them how to cook five simple but real meals (which they won’t use). Then teach a fast five set of meals (the ones they might use). Those could include a rotisserie chicken three different ways — buy it and pull the chicken apart for chicken cheese quesadillas, barbecue chicken sandwiches and easy chicken noodle soup. They may not use any of these skills, but it matters not: you’ve done your job.
2. Clean
Teach them how to deep clean, then fast clean. Once they’ve had to clean the house in two hours, doing a 5-minute bathroom will seem like a gift. To do that, show them how to start with cleanest to dirtiest (cloth wise) as they spray and wipe the counter, sink and toilet, done. (Doing the mirror is fabulous, but not even on their radar).
3. Clothes
Teach them how to do each basic laundry stage — wash, fold, put away — and for a year they do all three weekly. If possible, encourage their laundry day to be a set one so that even when they move out, the routine is ingrained (supposedly).
If nothing else, they get the concept of what moms do at home. A few years ago our children bucked the annoying chore-doing. To address it, we held a “Parents for the Day” experience. While my husband and I sat in our master bedroom blissfully watching a movie, we heard the children divvy up the chores and take care of the then-baby. The experience was priceless. To this day, all we have to do is start the sentence, "Maybe we need a Parents …” and their wide eyes and please-no gesturing hands get us back on schedule.
4. Cash
Teach them financial literacy and value. Not just how to spend money, but how to spend it wisely — when to go cheap, when to do quality, and when to say no. For my daughter’s recent birthday party, we were doing a hula hoop contest. But the first store charged about $45 for 10 hula hoops. I checked a few dollar stores and found one with enough hoops for only $10. I shared this example with my children to learn, literally, the value of a dollar.
5. Car
Teach them that transportation is about necessity, not nicety. Discuss what they really need to function — car, bike, bus, walk, etc. At college, I rode a small scooter. For only $5 a week in gas, I could tool around to classes, buy groceries (the one bag rested on the small floor board), and visit friends south of campus. I froze in winter, but there you are. We don’t need to make it too convenient for our kids. Real life is about learning and growing from struggle, especially right out of the gate.
6. Communication
Teach them key phrases and skills to work with others. These could include how to validate, make reasonable requests and follow up. One important skill is to “use your voice.” This helps them know how and when to speak up, ask questions and get answers. From doing a teaching internship in Taiwan to performing in award-winning plays to touring with a symphonic band in Hawaii, using my voice gave my unforgettable opportunities in college.
7. Coping skills
Teach them how to manage emotions and handle stress. Management skills could include a religious focus or habit such as prayer or scripture study, as well as a talent, skill or routine that calms or rejuvenates. My kids have chosen to play guitar, work out or read to release stress (I prefer the tried-and-true method of Ritter [Sport] with hazelnuts).
Another helpful mechanism is creating baseline routines and zones. For example, when we travel I like to “set up shop” immediately in the room: my Ziploc bag with hair and hygiene items goes in the bathroom; clothes and shoes in the closet; books and journal on the side table. I forget fewer things and feel more at home. As kids figure out their own routines and zones, they can move from apartment to apartment and still quickly function in their daily routine.
The ideas here are certainly not exhaustive but could be a useful springboard to preparing your son or daughter for their upcoming transition.

Prayer

Prayer

I wrote this in 1978 long before there was such a thing as a blog.

Doctrine & Covenants 112:10. 

"Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers."

Many people can testify that God answers prayers and that they are important.  While reading about one of my ancestors I found a story, which illustrates this idea.

During the month of January 1856, the weather was very cold, the temperature ranging 20 to 30 degrees below zero at times.  On one occasion my Great, great, great grandfather found himself in Mill Creek Canyon alone.  It was so cold no one cared risk going to the canyon that day.  He was at the time, hauling house logs, five to a load.  After getting logs cut and dragged to loading place, he commenced loading on bobsled, one end on the sled, and the other dragging in the snow.  The loading being very slippery, he thought he was being very careful.  He got the first one loaded, turned around to load another.  The one he had loaded sipped off like it was shot out of a gun, struck him in legs and threw him forward on his face across other logs lying on the ice.  In falling his handspike slipped out of his hand and out of reach.  He found himself with his body lying face down across four logs with fifth lying across legs.

He was pinned by a heavy red pine 10 inches through at large end, 22 feet long across his legs.  There was no visible means to extricate himself and no one was in the canyon that day.  In falling on the logs his breast and stomach were hurt and it was difficult to breath.  He did not know what to do and concluded to ask the Lord to help him, which he did in earnest prayer.

After calling upon Lord for some time he began to make an effort to extricate himself but all in vain.  He continued in his efforts until he was exhausted and lost all recollection of his situation.

The first he remembered afterward, he was a mile down the canyon sitting on his load of logs, the oxen going gently along. He, being very cold, stopped the oxen and tried to get off and put his coat on.  He could not and put it on in a sitting position, wrapping his legs the best he could.  He did not know how long he had been there but he supposed it was two hours since he was two hours later getting home than usual.  On arriving home his wife lifted him from the wagon and helped him to the house, placing him by the fireside and took care of the team, etc.  He said later. 'Who it was that extricated me from under the log, loaded my sled, hitched my oxen to it, and placed me on it, I cannot say, as I do not know or even then, at the time remember seeing anyone, and I know for a surety no one was in the canyon that day but myself.  Hence I must give the Lord or my Guardian Angel credit for saving my life in extricating me from so perilous a situation.'

He was a very humble man and had been prepared for such an occasion.

You may not have such a dramatic answer to your prayers, but you will get an answer and you can have one as equally important in your life.

Love,

Grandpa

Principles versus Historical Facts

There have been a number of recent articles published in one of the local newspapers that are critical of the church. I will not go into detail about what people are saying. Suffice it to say that people find fault. 

The crux of their complaints is that they did not know some things that happened in the past. They claim that the church leaders have been hiding things from the church members. 

They think that all of these things should have been spoken about in sacrament meetings or in Sunday school. 

The incidents and practices that they refer to have not been hidden from those who have studied. If someone who lives 350 miles from the center of the church and is a busy physician can read and gain the information on such topics without the benefit of access to the church archives, then anyone can find out about those "hidden and secret" things. 

Let us here state that the only reason for the existence on the church is to bring people to Christ and be perfected in him. 

The church is to testify of Christ and to call people to repentance. It is not here to teach history. 

When I was serving as stake president Elder Bruce Redd McConkie came and taught me and the other priesthood leaders the principles of priesthood correlation. 

1. The family and the individual do everything in the church. 
2. The church exists to help the family and the individual. 
3. Home teaching is the vehicle through which the church helps the family and the individual. 

This seems to be somewhat hidden in the church today. 

Next we have the 3 or 4 fold mission of the church. Originally it was three and now it is four. 

1. Proclaim the gospel. 
2. Redeem the dead. 
3. Perfect the saints. 
4. Serve the poor and needy. 

Nowhere in these principles do I see the need for teaching or understanding items of history or past practices. 

Our eternal salvation and God's approbation does not depend on the knowledge that the church changed fast meeting from the first Thursday in the month to the first Sunday. Or that the early Elders of the church used to raise their right arm to the square when they prayed or administered the sacrament, or any number of a myriad of things. 

Some have such weak testimonies that when they find out that Joseph Smith used a seer stone and a hat to reduce the ambient light when he translate the Book of Mormon that they cry, "Why have the church leaders hidden this fact from us?" I found about that at least 35 years ago and it was not because some church leader spoon fed me the information.

This information will not be asked by Saint Peter at the golden gate for entrance into the kingdom of God. (A commonly held false notion.) He will probably ask, "Have you read the Book of Mormon and lived by its principles and commandments that God caused to come forth by his command and through his gift and power to his prophets?"  Or "Do you love Christ with all your heart, might and strength and have you kept all his statutes and ordinances and been a savior to your ancestors?"

The prophets and apostles have more to do than satisfy members curiosity. Their mandate from the Lord is to preach nothing but repentance unto this generation and to prepare the earth for His second coming. 

He does not want a slothful people who have nothing to do except be spoon fed by the leaders. 

If you have a question, ask the Lord first after you have put some effort to find the answers from the pure fountain and then ask Grandpa if you don't have enough faith to get an answer from the Lord. Grandpa will answer your question and not think the question is stupid.

Love,

Grandpa 

The economy of temple ordinances

Economy is defined as the careful management of available resources.

So what has this economy to do with temple ordinances?

Let us explore this by looking at time.

The baptism and confirmation takes less than 5 minutes. The initiatory ordinance takes 5 minutes. The endowment takes about 2 hours. Sealings, which we have observed in the Bountiful temple, are done as follows; the spouse sealings take about the same amount of time that five sealings to parents takes. 

This does not take into account the travel time and the time to get dressed appropriately for each ordinance.  Someone also needs to do the research to find the names for these ordinances.  In the past when we went to the temple we just took a name from those that were made available at the temple.  These names came from the extraction program. We are now encouraged to seek out our own family relatives and reserve and do the saving ordinances for them.  Some are more adept at this than others. The Internet and more available records on line have made research more feasible. We do not have to go to distant libraries or archives to find the names and relationships.  There are still un-mined resources that will need to be explored. 

Temple availability. 

When I went to the temple for my endowment there were temples in Salt Lake, Logan, St. George, Manti, Idaho Falls, Hawaii, Cardston, and Mesa.  Now we have about 155 operating temples.  I was privileged to attend the dedication of the first temple on the continent of Europe while I was on my mission.

With so many temples available to us there is still a lot to do, but there are impediments to the work. There is, as always in the work of the Lord, opposition.  You might be interested to read the following account of our ancestor Marriner Wood Merrill.  Click the link below.

An interesting visitor attachment. 

My experience with the Bountiful temple: 

We have a file drawer for our stake in the temple. One can print out ordinances and stamp them with the stake names and place the cards in the drawer for members of the stake who do not have family names to do.  The last time I was there and looked in the drawer there were 4 inches of cards for male endowments and only 3 cards for female endowments.

  

Some people have a difficult time finding names for ordinances, but I have been blessed with the good fortune to be able to find many.  At present I have 576 individuals reserved for ordinances.  The baptism and confirmations seem to be gradually disappearing from this list.  You, my grandchildren, are helping in a great way.  I have sent initiatory ordinances to children and relatives to do and they are getting done. Your grandmother has 128 individuals reserved in her list. Not all those reserved need every ordinance done.  As you can guess the greatest need is for the endowment ordinance, which takes the most time.

In addition Clark, Mary Ellen, Aaron, Sandy, Steve and Rachel are doing research and reserving names as well.

This year make time to go to the temple.  Please do not go without taking a family name.  We had a bishop in Riverton who said that if you did not take a stake or family name to do the ordinances for, you were on temple welfare.  This is at the time when we were doing the second rescue project. 

Do not be on temple welfare.  Your extended family members are counting on you to do their ordinances. All it takes is a call or e-mail to us and we can send you a name or names back via e-mail.  Try it you will like it.

Going to the source

Going to the source

When I was young we used to go to visit my Uncle Howard and Aunt Evelyn at the ranch that my uncle managed at Eight Mile outside of Soda Springs.  They had a spring on the property.  That is where they got their culinary water.  The spring water was artesian.  That means that it flowed freely without a pump all year long.  Down the slight hill there was a pipe that carried the flowing water into what they called a spring box.  The cold water flowed from the pipe into a box where they kept the butter, milk and other things they wanted to keep cold.  This water was pure.  It came from deep in the earth where melting snow had percolated thru layers of rock into an aquifer.  When we wanted uncontaminated pure water we would rely on this spring.

The overflow water then flowed into an irrigation ditch that ran just below and across the road from the spring.  There was plenty of water in the ditch.  It looked clear just like the spring water.  We were cautioned, “Don’t drink out of the ditch!”  At the time we were young and did not understand the danger of drinking out of the ditch. Now, at a more mature age with an understanding of the germ theory, I know why the warning; ”Don’t drink out of the ditch!” We needed to go to the source of the pure water.

Upstream the ditch ran through a farmyard where there were cows and sheep and other farm animals deposited their bodily waste on the ground that drained into the irrigation ditch when it rained. Further up the source of the water that was in the irrigation ditch deer and other animals came to drink out of the flowing water.  The water flowed through beaver dams where beaver swam and dispensed bodily fluids into the water.  One of the parasites that the beaver carried was Giardia Lamblia.  We used to call the disease of this parasite in humans “Beaver Fever”. If you want more information click on the link.

Would you want to drink out of the ditch?

Later our family moved to Lander, Wyoming. The culinary water in Lander came from the Popo Agie River.  This water was cold and clear and tasted really good to a boy who came from Denver, Colorado.  There was a chlorinating plant that was installed to help with bacterial contamination.  There was a problem with the water.  We called it spring runoff. In the spring the snows that accumulated in the mountains surrounding Lander melted and the river, which was usually clear water, turned muddy and at the height of the runoff the water in the pipes in the city was more than turbid.  Some people even reported seeing small minnows coming out of the taps at this time. During Spring runoff there were people who got sick.  They called it “Landeritis”. It was an intestinal infection.  Some even got Giardia and had to be treated. Moose were often reported wading in the collecting basin where the city water came from.  While we were living there, the city decided to put in a water treatment facility and filter all the impurities and upgrade the chlorinating equipment.  My friend Wayne Nelson, the pharmacist, said that if they did that he would lose a lot of business selling Pepto Bismol during the spring runoff. Eventually Lander had pure water during the spring runoff.

Would you want to drink the Lander water during spring runoff?

I have one more example from the distant past.  In the history of the church there was a group of saints that went from Kirtland to Missouri called “Zion’s Camp”.  During their trek to Missouri members of this army developed Cholera.  Cholera is caused by a bacterium called Cholera Vibrio.  It was in the water that some of the members drank and then they got ill.  The symptoms were rice water diarrhea and a sudden loss of serum electrolytes and seizures and death.  This was caused by contaminated water.  The people at that time knew the disease, but did not know the cause. They did not know it was caused by contaminated water.  Our ancestor Lysander Gee was driven out of Nauvoo and went to St. Louis, Missouri with his wife Amanda Melvin Sagers and her son Orlando Lysander.  While living there, prior to traveling to Utah, Amanda died.  There was at that time an epidemic of Cholera among the saints and many died.  Perhaps Amanda died of Cholera too. 

There are lessons that we can learn from this.

Always go to the unadulterated source.

When we are looking for information about the church or the doctrine of Christ we need to go to the source.  These sources are not found in Google or on the Internet or in Wikipedia. Google and the Internet and Wikipedia are not unadulterated sources. They have many errors and many contaminated articles containing the opinions of men.

Adulterated sources can infect innocent people by perpetuating contamination. Just as the beaver may not become ill from Giardia, the parasite can be transmitted to humans from water contaminated by the beaver. A human infected with the parasite may not be symptomatic, but can transmit it to someone else and that person may become ill.  This is what is known as a carrier state.  In a similar manner Cholera can be transmitted in water from a person that is ill or one who is an asymptomatic carrier. 

The classic example that was taught us in medical school was that of Typhoid Mary.

Mary Mallon (September 23, 1869 – November 11, 1938), better known as Typhoid Mary, was the first person in the United States identified as an asymptomatic carrier of the pathogen associated with typhoid fever. She was presumed to have infected 22 people, three of whom died, over the course of her career as a cook. She was twice forcibly isolated by public health authorities and died after a total of nearly three decades in isolation. Just as Mary, those who publish articles on the Internet may not have their faith challenged, there are those who read their articles who die spiritually, because they drank from contaminated, adulterated sources for their information. 

Would you want Mary Mallon to cook for you?

Where can we find the unadulterated source?

The scriptures contain the word of God.  We believe that as far as the Bible is translated correctly we can hear the voice of God and his son Jesus Christ as if they were speaking directly to us.

The Book of Mormon contains the word of God.  The translation was given by the gift and power of God. We have direct quotations from Christ and from the prophets. For my experience Clickhere.

Latter-Day scriptures, such as; the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price.

Contemporary documents from reliable sources; such as the History of the Church, The Documentary History of the Church, the Joseph Smith Papers. The teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith and the reports of General Conference.

The voice of the Lord through the ministration of the Holy Ghost; Joseph Smith is not the only person that can hear the voice of the Lord.  He is your father as well as mine.

Do not expect to receive the word of the Lord with out sincere effort on your part by going to the unadulterated sources. Do not give it what my mother used to say “a lick and a promise”.  And “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”

Drink from the pure source.

Love,

Grandpa

Bombs Away

 A Denver adventure of the brothers Gee

We lived in Denver at 433 Corona Street.  The House was a duplex and in the back there was a rather large tree.  We built a treehouse.  We had to climb the tree in order to get to the treehouse.  To facilitate getting things up to our treehouse we decided to install a method so that we would not have to climb the tree and carry the material up to the treehouse.  Being the inventive boys that we were, we attached a pulley to one of the limbs.  Through the pulley we strung a sash cord rope.  This was a cotton rope that was woven and approximately 3/8 of an inch thick.  This worked well and we could attach whatever we wanted to the end of the rope and pull it up and thus build our treehouse.

One of us thought of the idea to attach a cast iron window weight to one end of the rope.  Thus we could haul it up to the top where the pulley was attached and then let go of the rope and it would fall to the ground.  Thus we became bombardiers and had fun raising the window weight and then letting it drop.

We found that we could cause the window weight to drop but not hit the ground by stepping on the rope and thus impeding it in its flight downward.  Now comes the interesting part.  Martell decided to see how our window weight bomb looked as it dropped from its perch next to the pulley.  We measured exactly the position the weight would be as it dropped and was impeded in its progress by one of us holding our foot on the end of the rope.  In the foggy recesses of my memory I do not remember whose foot was supposed to be on the end of the rope.  Nevertheless, the window weight dropped as we yelled “bombs away”.  Martell was directly under the area where the window weight would reach its final destination.  Unfortunately, the foot was not placed properly on the end of the rope and our window weight bomb hit Martell squarely in the face just under his eye.  Of course this was not pleasing to Martell and he started to bleed.  We ran quickly into tell mother about the accident.  She was upset and rightly so.  So being the Boy Scout that I was, I put a pressure bandage on Martell's laceration and mother made me take him on the streetcar to downtown Denver to the doctors office where Martell was attended to. 

Fortunately Martell did not suffer a blow-out fracture of the orbit or a fracture of the zygoma.  As far as I am able to ascertain Martell did not have any deleterious effects from his heroic effort to observe the falling bomb.  We were wise enough never to try that again.

 A window weight is a 14 inch long 2 inch in diameter piece of cast iron with a hole in one end.

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[1] A window weight is a 14 inch long 2 inch in diameter piece of cast iron with a hole in one end.

Thoughts on being released as stake president

September 15,1978

Today is the last day that I will be the Stake President and I would like to take the time to write down my feelings and thoughts in the time that I have now.

For ten years almost I have tried to balance my life with the medical practice demands on one hand and the spiritual demands and administrative requirements of the stake on the other. I have not had any clearly defined guidelines, and I don^’t think that the Lord expects any one to give them to me. I have grown in the decision making process and I have learned by making the mis­takes that one makes when he exercises his agency and does not listen to the Spirit.

I have learned that this is not my Stake nor members, but that they are the Lord^’s and that he has a great and abiding concern for each and every one of his children. I have learned to share in that concern and to be interested in all of Father's children. I do not think that I could leave that behind with my release. There are certain things and ways of doing things that one should acquire in working in the Lord's vineyard, which cannot be stripped off as you would and old shoe. They have become part of my life, and I hope that they will continue with me.

I have no desire to return to the kind of a person that I was before this calling came to me. No, I was not and evil person, but I have improved and developed attributes, which if I am diligent will help me in my life. I have indeed found my life by loosing it in the service of my fellow men. I am grateful for the opportunity I have had of serving with great and good men. The Councilors that I have had over the years and the members of the High Council and the bishoprics have been kind to me and indulgent of my weaknesses and my inability to speak.

I do not desire position or prestige in the church nor in the world. I desire only to be of service to my fellowmen. There are those who would heap upon me more honor than I deserve. They do not know the true facts and do not appreciate real greatness. I have no ambition and would feel honored to serve in any capacity to which the bishop called me. The work is great and the laborers in the field doing the work are few.

There are many lessons that I have learned as a Stake President and I could not write them all down. I will try and apply them to my life that I may perhaps in some small way influence others to come to Christ and to the true and living church and the living water of which He spoke, I wish that I were better at writing that I might pour out my soul that my posterity that reads this may know that I love the Lord and will serve him until my sprit and body are separated and then will praise him and his name forevermore.

Amen