When my children went away to college, I took them aside and tried to give them some advice. I was not as articulate as Polonius, but I tried to tell them some of my experiences. What follows, my dear grandchildren, is Shakespeare mixed with grandpa.
I had fun when I went to Weber College. I had the opportunity to live with my uncle Wendell and go to Ricks College and work on his dairy farm milking cows twice a day or go to Ogden and live with my father's aunt Alta Lowe. She had recently lost her husband and needed someone to help mow the lawn and shovel the snow and help her clean the house and help her with her dinner parties and entertaining.
My parents wanted me to go to Ricks College, but they let me make the decision. I think that they were disappointed that I chose Weber. Unbeknownst to me they asked my great aunt to make sure that I went to church. Aunt Alta was a member but semi-active. They were concerned for my spiritual welfare. I went to church twice each Sunday and to MIA on Wednesday evening. After a while my aunt said that my parents had told her that I was to be diligent in my meeting attendance, but she was not prepared for me to be gone to church so much. It was never in my thoughts to skip any meetings. The church and the gospel were as much a part of who I was as my then pimply face.
I wanted to experience all that college had to offer. I was in Community Theater. I took private voice lessons and sang in a men's chorus and the college choir. I played in the band and the orchestra and had a lead part in the college production of the Merry Widow. I was in a local fraternity.
In short I tried to be involved. I did not do too badly in my school studies either. I graduated cum laude.
My parents asked me to attend the institute of religion, so I did that as well.
So when you go to college or the university try to take advantage of every opportunity that is available to you. Do not shrink in a corner and wait for things to come to you and do not be afraid to fail. If you learn this early, you will be better for it, for we all fail at some time in our life.
When I came home from my mission, I went to BYU. A couple of missionaries from my mission were there. I contacted them and they were both living in a house off campus. There was room for me. My second missionary companion decided to go somewhere else to live, so I moved in with Lawrence Wilson. We had shared the same room in Berlin, although he was not my companion. He was the mission secretary.
In that house was the brother of a missionary from our mission. He was tall and strong and good-looking, but not very religious. He was from California and drove a convertible. We did not have much in common except living in the same house. The school term passed and I went home to work for the forest service.
When I came back, I lived in the same house and had mostly new roommates. Lawrence Wilson had gone into the army. There were a couple of returned missionaries and some freshmen. The California roommate was not there. I became aware that he was living an immoral life the previous term. The girl involved became pregnant and had an abortion.
One day I received a summons to appear before the BYU honor council. I did not know what I had done. When I got there they asked me if I was aware of my roommate's immorality. I responded in the affirmative. They asked me what I had done about it. I told them that I had reported the fact to my bishop, Lester Allen.
In my conversation to my children, I related to them this story. I told them and I am telling you that when you see someone in the church who is not keeping the commandments, you should go to the bishop and tell them. If I had not done that I would have been expelled from BYU and it would have closed doors for me.
When I was in high school we read Shakespeare’s Hamlet. There is a friend of Hamlet named Laertes. His father Polonius gives him advice since he is going to France to school.
Yet here, Laertes! aboard, aboard, for shame! The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay’d for.
In other words, don’t procrastinate your departure.
There; my blessing with thee!
It might be a good thing to get a father’s blessing before you go off to college.
And these few precepts in thy memory
In other words remember well what I am telling you now and pay strict attention.
See thou character.
Character is the making of an individual. If you do not have character, then you really are of little worth to yourself.
Give thy thoughts no tongue, Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
In other words do not say everything that you think and do not do everything that comes to mind. Be very careful not to act rashly.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Do not play to the crowd and do not be commonplace.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel; But do not dull thy palm with entertainment Of each new-hatch’d, unfledged comrade.
Friends are important, but they must be true friends and make you want to improve yourself and be a better person.
Beware Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, Bear’t that the opposed may beware of thee.
To contend is of the devil, but if it is principle that you are defending make sure that people know your position and respect it.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Listen much and speak your opinion seldom. People like a listener and not a talker.
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Criticism of your actions will come from many areas. Some is justified and some is not. Accept that which is justified.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy; For the apparel oft proclaims the man, And they in France of the best rank and station Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Dress well. Do not wear jeans with holes in them. Dress modestly and spend your money on quality clothes. The fashions of the day soon fade and just because it comes from France does not make it appropriate.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Do not borrow because the lender may be a friend at first, but money has a tendency to make people upset. And if you are the lender you may not feel amicable toward the person who does not pay you back. Budget wisely and do not go to the loan sharks and payday loan establishments.
This above all: to thine ownself be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Long before Mrs. Tweed made us memorize this, my parents quoted this verse to my brothers and me. This means that you must be true to the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you make them part of you then what you do to others will be in accordance with those principles as well and you will not be dishonest in your dealings with anyone.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!
And now I bless you, my grandchildren, that if you use these guiding principles in your life, you will save yourself and those that love you much sorrow.
Love,
Grandpa
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