Teaching by example

Teaching by example (written in the 1980s)

When I was in medical school they taught us the way to learn.  It was a simple formula: See one, Do one, Teach one.

First we see something done, then we do it ourselves, then we teach someone to do it and then we master the subject. 

When my wife Alice was teaching seminary the teenager students were not understanding why the parents do things the way they do.  She said, “You will treat your children the way you were treated and do things the way your parents do unless you make a conscious and sustained effort to change.”

The reason for this is that example is a powerful teacher, probably more powerful than we really realize.

I once attended a leadership-training seminar.  The man was trying to teach his daughter.  She responded teach me the concept and give me an example then I can solve the problem.  This is the way the gospel works we teach correct principles and then show an example and then let people do what they have learned.  The Suzuki method of teaching music is by repeated example. Hear the music played, play it yourself, and then teach someone else to play the same piece.

We wait for people to give us an example of their feelings and beliefs before we act.  If the other person leads out with their actions and gives us an example we are more sure to follow them than if we must wait for the initiative to come from us.  Everyone waits for us to do what we are supposed to do.  We reinforce our behavior otherwise we are disappointed.  

A recent example that comes to mind is; the Catholics believe that in the Lenten season they should fast.  This means refraining from eating meat on Friday, but they still eat, just not meat.  We had two couples that were Catholics that ate with us last week. When we explained the way we fasted by not eating or drinking for 24 hours once a month and give the money for the food as an offering to the poor. Their response was, ‘you fast like the old Jews’. They probably will not change the way they fast even though the example was given, they did not believe the principle.

Christ taught by example.  A parable is an example to illustrate principles taught.  Christ used his own life and stories from life around him as an example to teach.  He used example to reinforce the teachings or principles. We remember the example long after the teaching.

The example must be one we can relate to.  If we faithfully go to the temple and do family history work, we will not teach our nonmember neighbor anything.  The example is there but it doesn't mean anything to the nonmember.  There are some things we can never teach by example they have to be taught by precept and accepted first.

Now my grandchildren,You should not only be a good example, but teach correct principles.

Love,

Grandpa

The iron rod and me

You are all familiar with the story of Lehi's dream and the iron rod that led to the tree of life. The fruit of the tree was the love of God. There were mists of darkness along the way so that the traveler had to hold on to the rod of iron or loose his way. We are told that the iron rod was the word of God. We sing, “it will safely guide us through.” 

I would like to tell you of my experience with the iron rod. 

When I was growing up, I do not remember ever having family scripture reading. We had family prayers and very occasionally some gospel discussions. We went to church and when we were old enough we went to MIA. We occasionally read Bible stories. 

Then some time after we moved to Lander, when I was about 15, we started to read the Book of Mormon. We read at the dinner table at night before we cleared the table and did the dishes. My parents found it stimulating, but I don't remember that my brothers and I were ever that impressed in a spiritual way. 

Although we lived in a small town and the people there were generally good people, they were in some measure worldly. The friends that I associated with did not usually keep the word of wisdom and their speech was often crude. I knew better, but the crowd had an influence on my thinking. Although I did not tip over outhouses or shoot out streetlights or do some of the other things that my friends did, I often was in their company. A thing that I now regret.

When I went to Weber College I attended the institute and read the assigned scriptures, but I do not remember ever reading by myself. I went to church and to MIA. It was a habit that I enjoyed. 

I graduated from the institute of religion and attended the graduation where Joseph Fielding Smith spoke. I was in the habit of saying my prayers at night, but I do not remember if I ever read the scriptures on a daily basis. The fraternity life was less than spiritual even though most of the members were LDS. My church attendance kept me from going through the mists of darkness and loosing my way. 

When I was working in the summer I know I did not read them, because I did not have my own set of scriptures until I bought them when I was in the mission home in June of 1954.  This may seem a little strange to you, but at that time it was not the practice for every member to have their own set of scriptures and very few people brought them to church meetings with them, as is now the practice. 

Once I was in Germany on my mission we had companion study and read the Book of Mormon every day. We would read five verses in German and then translate into English while the companion would check the translation using the English scriptures. Then we would reverse the process. I did this throughout my whole mission. In addition I read the Luther translation of the Bible including the apocrypha. I had a firm grasp on the iron rod.  

Unfortunately after I got home from my mission I did not keep up with the daily scripture reading. It was not stressed at that time. 

I took some religion classes when I was at BYU. It was a requirement and I filled it by taking classes from Hugh Nibley. This required outside reading, but not the Bible or the Book of Mormon. Thus, I was not holding on to the iron rod at that time. I was still very active in the church and taught a Sunday school class. The lessons were doctrinal, but did not require scriptures. 

Although I was active in the church, I was not holding onto the iron rod. Fortunately I met my wife and I remember getting my recommend to be married in the temple. The member of the stake presidency said something that I didn't agree with. He said it was not necessary to pray with my wife frequently before we were married. I guess that was the trend at that time. I decided that we would kneel and pray twice daily and say a blessing on the food every time we ate. We have continued this practice until today. 

During my years of medical school I do not remember that we read the scriptures together on a regular basis. It was not stressed at that time either. We were very active in the church and never missed any meeting or activity. We also went to the temple on a regular basis. 

We went to Ogden for an internship and I was not given an assignment in the church. We were not reading the scriptures as a family. It was a period of spiritual indolence for me.   As I look at this time in retrospect I did not realize what was happening. It was as if the mists of darkness shrouded me. 

We moved back to Salt Lake and that was when the church came out with the family home evening manual. We started having family home evening every week. I was given a calling in the ward. Although we were not reading the scriptures every day we were studying the gospel. 

We continued having prayers and family home evening in California. I was given a calling in the ward, which required me to study the gospel in depth in order to teach it and answer questions. 

After our return from California I was soon called to serve as the stake president. I felt the need to be well informed in the doctrine of the church and the principles of the gospel. I read the entire standard works at night while waiting for my wife to take her shower and get ready for bed. I memorized passages of scripture so that I could quote them at appropriate times.  We started reading the scriptures as a family as well as holding family home evening. We have continued to read on a somewhat regular basis since. I read the Book of Mormon in German as well.

The Book of Mormon is written for our time. It presents answers and helps for the problems of our lives. By reading it we can increase our spiritual sensitivity. 

Now my grandchildren hold on to the iron rod so that you can taste of the love of God and not be lured into the great and spacious building or wander into forbidden paths and lose your eternal soul. 

     

Love,

Grandpa

The beehive 

We moved from the cowboy or equality state to the beehive state a number of years ago. The reason for the appellation of beehive is that this symbolizes industry. The saints for the most part have been known as an industrious people. Your ancestors were part of a group of people who came here to turn the desert into a fruitful field. 

My concern is that there is a spirit of indolence that is prevalent among the people here in our nation today. The church teaches the following: independence, industry and thrift. [1]

These are the qualities that we should have and be guidelines for our life   

Some people expect that if they get into trouble they anticipate others to bail them out. They want others to pay for the consequences of their action or inaction. 

I am not referring to natural disasters such as earthquakes and hurricanes. I am referring to things such as the results of poor planning on our part, unwise management of our resources, or not preparing for obvious things that occur in everyone's lives. These can be as devastating to us and our well being as natural disasters. 

Independence 

As much as possible we should be independent. We should not rely on the government or the state to take care of our problems.  If we do, we become subservient and beholden to an outside influence. It makes us so that we expect things that we have not earned. 

There are those that turn to the church for assistance. The first principle of priesthood correlation is that the individual and the family do everything in the church. Thus if we have needs that are necessary that we cannot meet we should turn to the family first for our support. 

Industry 

We used to sing, "The world has no use for a drone. " This referred to the beehive and the fact that there were worker bees that gathered the honey and the drones that just stayed in the hive and did nothing. 

Sitting around playing video games and watching TV all day is either done out of idleness or is excessive indulgence. We are expected to make good use of the time we are given here on earth. We are to learn about everything. We should be active every day of our life. We should try to learn something new every day. Unless we are disabled we need to be productive at least a third of the time. 

Thrift 

"A penny saved is a penny earned." Frugality is not practiced by the majority of people. We do not need to be penurious. We do have to realize that we will be held accountable for the goods that have been placed at our disposal. " Waste not, want not. Is the maxim that we preach." [2]

Every person should be able to manage both their time and their money. They should have a years supply of money in reserve. Obviously this cannot be accomplished when we first start out, but if we don't have a plan in place to achieve that, we will always be behind the eight ball. 

The missionaries are taught to plan their day to make the best use of their resources. Some do not follow through after they are released. 

So my grandchildren remember independence, industry and thrift and strive to live in accordance to these eternal principles. 

Love,

Grandpa

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[1] One of President Heber J. Grant's greatest legacies as president is the church's welfare program, which he instituted in 1936: "our primary purpose was to set up, insofar as it might be possible, a system under which the curse of idleness would be done away with, the evils of a dole abolished, and independence, industry, thrift and self-respect be once more established amongst our people. The aim of the Church is to help the people help themselves."

[2] Wise use of one's resources will keep one from poverty. For example, I just hate to throw out good food—waste not, want not. This proverbial saying was first recorded in 1772 but had an earlier, even more alliterative version, willful waste makes woeful want (1576). Also at this Link for the words to the song.

Calling from the Lord

We recently got a new stake president and in the near future we will get a new president of the church and a new member of the council of the twelve.  I thought this might be an appropriate post to my blog.
 
This is a talk that I prepared to give if I was asked to speak when Bishop Enos was sustained and Bishop Larsen was released and as I was serving in the bishopric I was released as well. I was not asked to speak, but I thought that it might be of interest to my posterity and thus it is included in my writings. It was originally in outline form, but I have written it as I probably would have given it.

Doctrine and Covenants Section 4 states that Faith, Hope, Charity and Love  with an eye single to the glory of God are the qualifications for service in the kingdom of our Father.

The calls to serve come from the Lord and are given to his servants at his discretion. They do not always come at our convenience or when we think they ought to come.

There was not long ago a vacancy in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Every one thought that at the upcoming general conference that the vacancy would be filled, but the conference came and went and no replacement was chosen to fill the vacancy. I know
that some people were disappointed, and some did not understand why the vacancy was not filled, as if it were a mechanical thing and had nothing to do with the Lord. We have to wait upon the Lord. He it is that gives the direction. He also determines the time. At the appropriate time the vacancy was filled.

When we moved to California, the bishop of the Hanford ward needed a secretary of the Adult Aaronic Priesthood. As he and his counselors pondered and prayed about whom to choose they could not come up with anyone to fill the position. One of the  counselors said, "We have to fill this position." The bishop answered him that they would have to
wait, because the Lord was sending him and he hadn't gotten there yet.

When I was stake president I went to Thermopolis to choose a Bishop to replace Bishop Chadwick who was put on the high council. When I interviewed the priesthood I was impressed that brother Williamson would be the bishop of that ward. The interviews were concluded and the Lord indicated that Bishop Johanneson would be called to serve at that time. It was not long until he left and Bishop Williamson was called to serve. The Lord knows the timing and the reasons. As his servants we may or may not be privy to his agenda.

How calls come.

It is often very obvious who will be the new bishop. Occasionally the person who is called is entirely unexpected by the congregation. I have often heard people say; "I hadn't even considered him for the position." They may not have, but the Lord did.

Remember that the Lord prepares his servants.

The story is told of the need to call the first president of the Logan temple. President John Taylor met with his counselors and the twelve and after their deliberations they came up with a list of names. President Taylor went to the temple to inquire of the Lord who he had chosen to be the temple president. The prayer went something like this. "Lord, show thy servant whom thou has chosen to be the temple president of the Logan temple." The answer came back, "My servant Marriner W. Merrill." President Taylor responded. “Whom didst Thou say Lord?" The answer came, "My servant Marriner W. Merrill." His name was not on the list that president Taylor had. President Merrill was chosen and later served as a member of the Council of the Twelve.

The priesthood leader is responsible for the call. 

You may ask if he doesn't get the inspiration and still issues the call is the call from the Lord? Is the call valid? We must understand that the Lord issues the priesthood to man to act in His stead. With this power and authority also comes responsibility. The Lord holds his agents responsible for their actions. The call by his servants is upheld by the Lord, even if they do not receive the inspiration to extend it, but the Lord holds the priesthood officer responsible for anything that he does.

I once was asked by an elders quorum president for a certain man to be his counselor. I went to the brother’s house to extend to him the call to serve. As I entered the house his wife came in and sat down even though I had asked to speak to him personally. We visited for a while and I thought, "How can I interview this brother and extend to him the call when his wife won't leave?" As I was thus in thought I asked him, "Who do you know that has clerical experience?" He gave me the name of a person that I would not have thought of. We had been praying to ask the Lord who we should call to serve as stake clerk and had not been successful. The elder whose name had been mentioned had a very active wife and family, but he was marginally so and I would have not considered him. I discussed it with my counselors and the high council and then extended to him the
call to serve. He refused to accept and so someone else was chosen in his place. The story does not end here.

Some time later, it was brought to my attention that this elder was having an extramarital affair. He was not too discreet about it and the non-member employer of the young woman involved brought it to my attention. As I look back on the situation I  became aware that the Lord knew about this elder and his problems and had me extend the call at
a time when he needed to be active in the church to avoid the temptations which came into his life afterward. Had he accepted the call we may have saved him and his family much sorrow. And thus we see that calls that come from the Lord are not necessarily given just to fill a position in the church, but are given for the blessing and benefit of the
individual, their families and the people they are called to serve. I have often quoted President Spencer W. Kimball who said that a call to serve is a call to repentance. What one does with the call is up to them.

What is our responsibility in the call? 

Our responsibility is to pray and to receive our own
confirmation of the spirit. We need and are entitled to revelation. It is a shame that we do not avail ourselves of the opportunity of receiving that witness of the spirit that we are entitled to. We may have our faith tried by the call. I often told my counselors that I was sure that my call to the stake presidency was a trial for some of the saints of the stake and some never did get a spiritual confirmation of it. We are as entitled to receive the witness of the spirit of the divinity of the call of someone else or ourselves as is the person who does the calling.

Faith:

The Lord has said that he would try the faith of his people. A faithless people will not keep the commandants. They will murmur and look to other gods and stray from the Lord. It takes faith to follow the prophets and to follow a bishop who we know and have seen. "Is this not the carpenters son?", they say. It takes little faith to sustain someone
we really admire. It takes more faith to sustain and support someone who has not tickled our fancy.

One day some time ago I was holding a personal stewardship interview with a good sister who was an auxiliary president. During the interview she asked me if I really meant what I said when I set her apart. I asked her what she meant. She said, "Do you always say that to all the people that you set apart?" I said I didn't know what she was referring to.
She then said that when I set her apart I told her that her sins were forgiven her. I certainly didn't remember saying that, but I do not doubt that I did say it. I never really remember what I say in a blessing. I try to give the instruction as it is given to me by the spirit. She then told me this story.

She was raised in the home of Heber J. Grant and knew the gospel and was acquainted with the order of the church. She grew up and got married and moved to Wyoming. As a young mother with small children she felt overwhelmed when she was asked by the bishop to serve as a leader. She told him that she couldn't accept the call. She later moved to our stake and served in various capacities in the ward and in the stake and then she was called to be the president of the stake auxiliary. When she received the blessing given as she was set apart, she went home and cried. She had been concerned all those
years that the Lord and not forgiven her for refusing the call she had received.

Sometimes we do not know what to do when we receive calls from the bishop or the stake president. We may not feel qualified, we may feel overwhelmed,

 we may not feel worthy, or we may not like the calling we have received. May I offer a suggestion?

Express your concerns to the person that extends the call. Let him take it to the Lord. Then you pray to receive a confirmation. If the presiding officer feels that you still should receive the call accept it with faith. You may not receive a confirmation by the
spirit until after the trial of your faith, but I can assure you that a loving Father in Heaven will not let your petitions go unanswered. Whom the Lord calls he qualifies.

Agency

I must tell you that the Lord respects our agency. We may accept calls from the Lord or we may not. He only has our interest at heart. Brigham Young's brother was called by the prophet Joseph Smith to serve on the first high council of the restored church. He felt inadequate and decline to accept the call. The prophet urged him to accept but he would not. He felt that he was not qualified to fill that prestigious a position. I have read his account of that incident. He stated that later as he understood the gospel more he felt sorry that he had not followed the prophet’s advice. He said that the prophet never issued him a call to serve again. Although he served in many positions of leadership after the prophet died he never did overcome the feeling of remorse. As it turned out if he had accepted the call he may well have been a member of the Twelve when he died.

We do not know what the Lord has for us to do. We seek not for position but for service. I have called many men to serve in the service of the Lord. I have called a number of men to serve as bishops in this stake. I can assure you that there have not been many who have been called to serve as bishop who have not felt overwhelmed by the call and would
gladly have had someone else fill the position.

At times when we sustain a new bishop it is a good time to raise our hand to the square in the sign of covenant and rededicate ourselves to the service of the Lord and covenant with the Lord to sustain his anointed. I hope that we may in soberness realize what is going on here today and give the leadership of the ward, the stake, and the church the benefit of our prayers for them daily. That they may guide and direct us according to the will of the Lord. If we unite in prayer on a regular basis, the Lord will not let us be led astray and we will be strengthened in our testimonies of the Lord Jesus Christ. As one who has carried the burden of leadership in the past, I can say that you will never know how lonely and insecure that position can be without the sustaining prayers of the saints.

Three Fold Mission of the Church

In the latter days the church is crystallizing its doctrine not changing it, but making it more understandable.  (This was written probably in the mid-1980s)

The threefold mission of the Church is to;

One, Proclaim the Gospel.

Two, Perfect the saints and

Three, Redeem the dead.

Proclaiming the Gospel

I want to approach this in the light that may be different than one might usually think of. The first things that impress me about the Savior's instruction on the subject are these.

Matthew 28:19 Go ye therefore and teach all nations and baptize.

Mark 16 Go ye and preach to every creature.

John 21:17 Feed my sheep

The Gospel was to be an individual-to-individual effort.  This occurs in ways that we may not think of.

The raising of the family in the Gospel.

We teach and are instrumental in the conversion of our families.  We are called on a mission before this life to labor with those who come within the walls of our own home.  This is a mission, which is not only implicit, but it is real. D&C 68:25

President David O. McKay is quoted as saying, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

This mission like any other mission has its challenges.  There may be doors slammed in our faces.  There may be indifference.  Just because the souls are born into our family does not mean that they have no agency to choose which path they follow and what they believe.  This mission is as real as any that any young Elder is called to serve by the Prophet today.  We make the latter seemed more important because of the interviews and the farewells, the setting aparts, the MTC, and the learning and preparing, but it has closer eternal consequences to us than that which is spanned by the 1 1/2 to 2 years of a person’s life on a ‘formal mission’.  The time for teaching is prolonged in the family experience to about 18 years and then we must emulate the Prophet Joseph’s statement and let them govern themselves.

My experience with my two missions as noted above may serve as a comparison.  I was able to teach two older Germans who were sisters and baptized them in the Grünewald Lake in Berlin. Later that year I baptized two sisters and another lady in the Havel River in Berlin.  To my knowledge none of these people are active in the church today.  I have taught the Gospel to, and baptized eight children and to my knowledge they all are active in the church today.

Two of my children have served missions and taught the Gospel.  One is going and three are yet to go.  This is good and must be done so the Gospel may spread.  But that is not the end of the influence because I have two married children who will teach the Gospel to my five grandchildren.  I consider my missionary success with my family to be far more successful than my mission success on my formal mission.  But that really doesn't count because He who called me to both of these missions is the judge.

We now have 33,000 missionaries in the field, probably more than any other religion.  The average cost is $325 per month per missionary at a cost of $10.7 million a month or $128.4 million per year.

We don't have mass media blasting away at people or hold mass conversion meetings where we ask people to come and confess Jesus.  It is done quietly and without fanfare on an individual basis.  We reserve the tumult for the Lord when he comes.

Perfect the Saints

Satan is more rampant as righteousness increases.  Every time a temple is built all the bells and hell will ring.  There is a lot of ringing in Hell lately.  Satan and his angels are awake.  Recent experience shows that when a person is alone he is more vulnerable.  Satan's plan is to isolate by;

1. Breaking families
2. Breaking down individual friendships
3. Distrust
4. Strife
5. Contention
6. Offense
7. Hurt feelings

The Lord's plan is to;

1. Unite families forever
2. Trust
3. Love
4. Amicability
5. Return to the Lord and be comforted
6. Be not weary in well doing

D&C 64:33 Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.

and 84:80  And any man that shall go and preach this gospel of the kingdom, and fail not to continue faithful in all things, shall not be weary in mind, neither darkened, neither in body, limb, nor joint; and a hair of his head shall not fall to the ground unnoticed. And they shall not go hungry, neither athirst.

Redeem the dead

This is a topic for another letter

Truth or consequences

When I was growing up, radio was the chief form of home entertainment. We did not have television. They had a radio program called truth or consequences. You can read about it Here.

The laws of the universe are built on actions and reactions, in other words actions and consequences. Every thing we do has a built in consequence. If we are carrying a box and let go of it, it will drop. We call this the law of gravity. Some actions have consequences that are not so immediate. As an example your great grandfather Wright Clark smoked cigarettes almost all of his life. He died of lung cancer. So the consequence took a long time to manifest itself.

He did not realize when he started that there would be unwelcome consequences to his actions.

If you pay attention to most video games it doesn't take you long to realize that even the slightest mistake will cause undesirable consequences.

Yet we blithely go about life doing things without realizing that there will be consequences. Most of the results do not come immediately and often are masked by immediate rewards to our senses. That is what is so difficult about this life. We always reap the consequences of our actions. To give you a homely saying about this scenario," The wheels of the Gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine".

A quote from Shakespeare memorized from my high school days seems appropriate to quote at this time. It is often referred to as Polonius' advice to Laertes.

"This above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. "

We cannot always see down the road far enough to determine the outcome of what we do. There are, however, guides for us on the road of life. Our Father in Heaven knows the end from the beginning and has provided a road map for us to follow. It is called the gospel of Jesus Christ or the iron rod.

In addition there are people who have traveled the road of life and have, by their experience, been able to determine what will happen to some people who do stupid things. They may not know everything, but do not discount the wisdom of the aged.

Truth, wherever it is found, will always lead to a desirable outcome.

As the radio host would say at the end of the program, "May all your consequences be happy ones."

The law of the knock

This was written in 1970 and I found it in my archives.  I thought it might help one of you, my grandchildren.

The world is governed by laws of all kinds.  Some are long acting and difficult to overcome, such as the law of gravity.  Others are in force only for a short time and are of limited scope.  Knowledge of the laws that govern us, help us to progress.

One law, which is little understood, is the law of the knock.  This law was stated by the Lord thus: ”Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened. (LUKE 11:9-10)

This makes it plain that much responsibility rests upon each of us to seek that which is best for us and for those around us.

We know that effort is required for the accomplishment of all worthwhile endeavors.  The Lord will not usually voluntarily give us all the things we need unless we ask for them.  This is why earnest prayer is of great importance in obtaining blessings from God.  This is why knowledge comes only to those who diligently study and seek it.  It does not come from passively sleeping on a pile of books.  Joseph Smith did not translate the gold plates through mere prayer.  The Lord inspired him to translate only after he had carefully studied it out in his mind.  Think where we would be today if the boy prophet had not used the law of the knock and gone into the sacred grove to pray!

Together with our own sincere best efforts to accomplish our tasks we must employ the law of the knock and trust that the Lord will indeed do as he says he will—give” to all men liberally…”

Prayer is essential for our spiritual and temporal well being.  Do it at least morning and evening.

Love,

Grandpa