Truth or consequences

When I was growing up, radio was the chief form of home entertainment. We did not have television. They had a radio program called truth or consequences. You can read about it Here.

The laws of the universe are built on actions and reactions, in other words actions and consequences. Every thing we do has a built in consequence. If we are carrying a box and let go of it, it will drop. We call this the law of gravity. Some actions have consequences that are not so immediate. As an example your great grandfather Wright Clark smoked cigarettes almost all of his life. He died of lung cancer. So the consequence took a long time to manifest itself.

He did not realize when he started that there would be unwelcome consequences to his actions.

If you pay attention to most video games it doesn't take you long to realize that even the slightest mistake will cause undesirable consequences.

Yet we blithely go about life doing things without realizing that there will be consequences. Most of the results do not come immediately and often are masked by immediate rewards to our senses. That is what is so difficult about this life. We always reap the consequences of our actions. To give you a homely saying about this scenario," The wheels of the Gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine".

A quote from Shakespeare memorized from my high school days seems appropriate to quote at this time. It is often referred to as Polonius' advice to Laertes.

"This above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. "

We cannot always see down the road far enough to determine the outcome of what we do. There are, however, guides for us on the road of life. Our Father in Heaven knows the end from the beginning and has provided a road map for us to follow. It is called the gospel of Jesus Christ or the iron rod.

In addition there are people who have traveled the road of life and have, by their experience, been able to determine what will happen to some people who do stupid things. They may not know everything, but do not discount the wisdom of the aged.

Truth, wherever it is found, will always lead to a desirable outcome.

As the radio host would say at the end of the program, "May all your consequences be happy ones."

The law of the knock

This was written in 1970 and I found it in my archives.  I thought it might help one of you, my grandchildren.

The world is governed by laws of all kinds.  Some are long acting and difficult to overcome, such as the law of gravity.  Others are in force only for a short time and are of limited scope.  Knowledge of the laws that govern us, help us to progress.

One law, which is little understood, is the law of the knock.  This law was stated by the Lord thus: ”Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened. (LUKE 11:9-10)

This makes it plain that much responsibility rests upon each of us to seek that which is best for us and for those around us.

We know that effort is required for the accomplishment of all worthwhile endeavors.  The Lord will not usually voluntarily give us all the things we need unless we ask for them.  This is why earnest prayer is of great importance in obtaining blessings from God.  This is why knowledge comes only to those who diligently study and seek it.  It does not come from passively sleeping on a pile of books.  Joseph Smith did not translate the gold plates through mere prayer.  The Lord inspired him to translate only after he had carefully studied it out in his mind.  Think where we would be today if the boy prophet had not used the law of the knock and gone into the sacred grove to pray!

Together with our own sincere best efforts to accomplish our tasks we must employ the law of the knock and trust that the Lord will indeed do as he says he will—give” to all men liberally…”

Prayer is essential for our spiritual and temporal well being.  Do it at least morning and evening.

Love,

Grandpa

Offense

One of my favorite quotes from Brigham Young is, " He who takes offense when no offense was intended is a fool. He who takes offense when offense was intended is probably a fool."

We will not get through this life without being given cause to be offended at some point. It is then up to us how we respond. We can let our pride and self-importance get in the way of how we feel. Or we can be like the duck and let the water just fall off our back. 

We have better things to do in this life than to let some remark or slight hurt our feelings. 

Christ was and is to be our example. He said that there must needs be offenses, but WO unto those by whom they come. Let the Lord take care of the problem. 

Today we as a people make other people offenders for a word. Just listen to the news or read the newspapers and note how people are criticizing each other and pointing out their mistakes or disparaging them for their position or actions. We may not agree but that is no reason for us to get bent out of shape. 

We claim to be a Christian nation, but do not follow what I learned was the "Golden Rule".  Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. 

Then when things do not suit one they protest and riot. This is hardly an example of Christ's example or teachings. 

Our response should be, "Let the Lord judge between thee and me and reward thee according to thy works." 

If we have differences of opinion we do as the Lord instructs. We discuss the matter in private with the person and use gentleness, meekness and unfeigned love. 

The scriptures inform us that contention is of the devil. Why be in his camp? 

Wars, murders and violence all come because of iniquity and then the love of many waxes cold. 

My dear grandchildren try not to be offended.  It is not worth the angst.

Growing up

Growing up 

As a pediatrician we had a graph to chart the child's progress with their height and weight. Then there was the Denver Developmental Scale to assess motor and social and cognitive development. 

As far as I know there is no nationally standardized check list for what people need to know and accomplish to be able to go out into the world and be prepared to take on the responsibility of living on their own without parental oversight. By the time you leave home you should be able to do the following. 

Be able to make your own bed every morning. Change the sheets and wash them once a week. 

Know how to clean a bathroom and vacuum the floor. Keep the living quarters clean by dusting the furniture and cleaning the floors. 

Be able to do your own laundry and press a suit of clothes. You should know that clothes need to be sorted before they are washed separately. Dark or colored clothes should not be washed together with white clothes. The dye from the dark clothes will bleed into the wash water and dye the white clothes. They then need to be folded neatly and put away. 

Be able to prepare and cook a balanced meal from scratch. 

Know the difference between principles and preference. 

Have a set of standards of conduct to make you a person of integrity. Be honest and truthful. Know the difference between right and wrong. What are you going to use as a standard?

Be able to converse with individuals of all ages. 

Be interested in learning and set and achieve goals. 

Be responsible for your own actions. Be kind to people. 

Understand the germ theory and how to keep healthy. 

Understand that there are consequences to all actions both good and bad. 

It is the role of the parent to teach and prepare the child to live as an adult. Too many young people get out into life ill prepared to handle the challenge that comes when they go out to college or into the work place. They are used to having most of the things and decisions made for them. 

Realize that both time and money require management and budgeting because once they are spent one can never bring them back. They are not reusable resources. Eventually we have to give an accounting for both. 

There was a recent article in the Deseret News newspaper that addresses this situation. I included it here. 

SALT LAKE CITY ̬ Whether it’s for college, travel, humanitarian or religious service, as parents we can decrease stress and increase a smooth transition for our children by using anticipation and the Basic 7: cook, clean, clothes, cash, car, communication and coping skills.
For most families, an effective tool is to anticipate the transition early on. This can ease fears, list needed skills and make routines meaningful. To keep it simple, you can create a transition timeline (don’t worry, it’s simple).
List the main transition ages in your family, such as 5, 8, 12, 16, 18 and 21. Choose the next upcoming transition, plan ahead, discuss what to expect and define new skills needed to make it a success.
Which brings us to the Basic 7, a few skills to successfully prepare our children to enter the real world (and to finally understand, Virginia, that there is no Cleaning Fairy).
1. Cook
Teach them how to cook five simple but real meals (which they won’t use). Then teach a fast five set of meals (the ones they might use). Those could include a rotisserie chicken three different ways — buy it and pull the chicken apart for chicken cheese quesadillas, barbecue chicken sandwiches and easy chicken noodle soup. They may not use any of these skills, but it matters not: you’ve done your job.
2. Clean
Teach them how to deep clean, then fast clean. Once they’ve had to clean the house in two hours, doing a 5-minute bathroom will seem like a gift. To do that, show them how to start with cleanest to dirtiest (cloth wise) as they spray and wipe the counter, sink and toilet, done. (Doing the mirror is fabulous, but not even on their radar).
3. Clothes
Teach them how to do each basic laundry stage — wash, fold, put away — and for a year they do all three weekly. If possible, encourage their laundry day to be a set one so that even when they move out, the routine is ingrained (supposedly).
If nothing else, they get the concept of what moms do at home. A few years ago our children bucked the annoying chore-doing. To address it, we held a “Parents for the Day” experience. While my husband and I sat in our master bedroom blissfully watching a movie, we heard the children divvy up the chores and take care of the then-baby. The experience was priceless. To this day, all we have to do is start the sentence, "Maybe we need a Parents …” and their wide eyes and please-no gesturing hands get us back on schedule.
4. Cash
Teach them financial literacy and value. Not just how to spend money, but how to spend it wisely — when to go cheap, when to do quality, and when to say no. For my daughter’s recent birthday party, we were doing a hula hoop contest. But the first store charged about $45 for 10 hula hoops. I checked a few dollar stores and found one with enough hoops for only $10. I shared this example with my children to learn, literally, the value of a dollar.
5. Car
Teach them that transportation is about necessity, not nicety. Discuss what they really need to function — car, bike, bus, walk, etc. At college, I rode a small scooter. For only $5 a week in gas, I could tool around to classes, buy groceries (the one bag rested on the small floor board), and visit friends south of campus. I froze in winter, but there you are. We don’t need to make it too convenient for our kids. Real life is about learning and growing from struggle, especially right out of the gate.
6. Communication
Teach them key phrases and skills to work with others. These could include how to validate, make reasonable requests and follow up. One important skill is to “use your voice.” This helps them know how and when to speak up, ask questions and get answers. From doing a teaching internship in Taiwan to performing in award-winning plays to touring with a symphonic band in Hawaii, using my voice gave my unforgettable opportunities in college.
7. Coping skills
Teach them how to manage emotions and handle stress. Management skills could include a religious focus or habit such as prayer or scripture study, as well as a talent, skill or routine that calms or rejuvenates. My kids have chosen to play guitar, work out or read to release stress (I prefer the tried-and-true method of Ritter [Sport] with hazelnuts).
Another helpful mechanism is creating baseline routines and zones. For example, when we travel I like to “set up shop” immediately in the room: my Ziploc bag with hair and hygiene items goes in the bathroom; clothes and shoes in the closet; books and journal on the side table. I forget fewer things and feel more at home. As kids figure out their own routines and zones, they can move from apartment to apartment and still quickly function in their daily routine.
The ideas here are certainly not exhaustive but could be a useful springboard to preparing your son or daughter for their upcoming transition.

Prayer

Prayer

I wrote this in 1978 long before there was such a thing as a blog.

Doctrine & Covenants 112:10. 

"Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers."

Many people can testify that God answers prayers and that they are important.  While reading about one of my ancestors I found a story, which illustrates this idea.

During the month of January 1856, the weather was very cold, the temperature ranging 20 to 30 degrees below zero at times.  On one occasion my Great, great, great grandfather found himself in Mill Creek Canyon alone.  It was so cold no one cared risk going to the canyon that day.  He was at the time, hauling house logs, five to a load.  After getting logs cut and dragged to loading place, he commenced loading on bobsled, one end on the sled, and the other dragging in the snow.  The loading being very slippery, he thought he was being very careful.  He got the first one loaded, turned around to load another.  The one he had loaded sipped off like it was shot out of a gun, struck him in legs and threw him forward on his face across other logs lying on the ice.  In falling his handspike slipped out of his hand and out of reach.  He found himself with his body lying face down across four logs with fifth lying across legs.

He was pinned by a heavy red pine 10 inches through at large end, 22 feet long across his legs.  There was no visible means to extricate himself and no one was in the canyon that day.  In falling on the logs his breast and stomach were hurt and it was difficult to breath.  He did not know what to do and concluded to ask the Lord to help him, which he did in earnest prayer.

After calling upon Lord for some time he began to make an effort to extricate himself but all in vain.  He continued in his efforts until he was exhausted and lost all recollection of his situation.

The first he remembered afterward, he was a mile down the canyon sitting on his load of logs, the oxen going gently along. He, being very cold, stopped the oxen and tried to get off and put his coat on.  He could not and put it on in a sitting position, wrapping his legs the best he could.  He did not know how long he had been there but he supposed it was two hours since he was two hours later getting home than usual.  On arriving home his wife lifted him from the wagon and helped him to the house, placing him by the fireside and took care of the team, etc.  He said later. 'Who it was that extricated me from under the log, loaded my sled, hitched my oxen to it, and placed me on it, I cannot say, as I do not know or even then, at the time remember seeing anyone, and I know for a surety no one was in the canyon that day but myself.  Hence I must give the Lord or my Guardian Angel credit for saving my life in extricating me from so perilous a situation.'

He was a very humble man and had been prepared for such an occasion.

You may not have such a dramatic answer to your prayers, but you will get an answer and you can have one as equally important in your life.

Love,

Grandpa

Principles versus Historical Facts

There have been a number of recent articles published in one of the local newspapers that are critical of the church. I will not go into detail about what people are saying. Suffice it to say that people find fault. 

The crux of their complaints is that they did not know some things that happened in the past. They claim that the church leaders have been hiding things from the church members. 

They think that all of these things should have been spoken about in sacrament meetings or in Sunday school. 

The incidents and practices that they refer to have not been hidden from those who have studied. If someone who lives 350 miles from the center of the church and is a busy physician can read and gain the information on such topics without the benefit of access to the church archives, then anyone can find out about those "hidden and secret" things. 

Let us here state that the only reason for the existence on the church is to bring people to Christ and be perfected in him. 

The church is to testify of Christ and to call people to repentance. It is not here to teach history. 

When I was serving as stake president Elder Bruce Redd McConkie came and taught me and the other priesthood leaders the principles of priesthood correlation. 

1. The family and the individual do everything in the church. 
2. The church exists to help the family and the individual. 
3. Home teaching is the vehicle through which the church helps the family and the individual. 

This seems to be somewhat hidden in the church today. 

Next we have the 3 or 4 fold mission of the church. Originally it was three and now it is four. 

1. Proclaim the gospel. 
2. Redeem the dead. 
3. Perfect the saints. 
4. Serve the poor and needy. 

Nowhere in these principles do I see the need for teaching or understanding items of history or past practices. 

Our eternal salvation and God's approbation does not depend on the knowledge that the church changed fast meeting from the first Thursday in the month to the first Sunday. Or that the early Elders of the church used to raise their right arm to the square when they prayed or administered the sacrament, or any number of a myriad of things. 

Some have such weak testimonies that when they find out that Joseph Smith used a seer stone and a hat to reduce the ambient light when he translate the Book of Mormon that they cry, "Why have the church leaders hidden this fact from us?" I found about that at least 35 years ago and it was not because some church leader spoon fed me the information.

This information will not be asked by Saint Peter at the golden gate for entrance into the kingdom of God. (A commonly held false notion.) He will probably ask, "Have you read the Book of Mormon and lived by its principles and commandments that God caused to come forth by his command and through his gift and power to his prophets?"  Or "Do you love Christ with all your heart, might and strength and have you kept all his statutes and ordinances and been a savior to your ancestors?"

The prophets and apostles have more to do than satisfy members curiosity. Their mandate from the Lord is to preach nothing but repentance unto this generation and to prepare the earth for His second coming. 

He does not want a slothful people who have nothing to do except be spoon fed by the leaders. 

If you have a question, ask the Lord first after you have put some effort to find the answers from the pure fountain and then ask Grandpa if you don't have enough faith to get an answer from the Lord. Grandpa will answer your question and not think the question is stupid.

Love,

Grandpa 

The economy of temple ordinances

Economy is defined as the careful management of available resources.

So what has this economy to do with temple ordinances?

Let us explore this by looking at time.

The baptism and confirmation takes less than 5 minutes. The initiatory ordinance takes 5 minutes. The endowment takes about 2 hours. Sealings, which we have observed in the Bountiful temple, are done as follows; the spouse sealings take about the same amount of time that five sealings to parents takes. 

This does not take into account the travel time and the time to get dressed appropriately for each ordinance.  Someone also needs to do the research to find the names for these ordinances.  In the past when we went to the temple we just took a name from those that were made available at the temple.  These names came from the extraction program. We are now encouraged to seek out our own family relatives and reserve and do the saving ordinances for them.  Some are more adept at this than others. The Internet and more available records on line have made research more feasible. We do not have to go to distant libraries or archives to find the names and relationships.  There are still un-mined resources that will need to be explored. 

Temple availability. 

When I went to the temple for my endowment there were temples in Salt Lake, Logan, St. George, Manti, Idaho Falls, Hawaii, Cardston, and Mesa.  Now we have about 155 operating temples.  I was privileged to attend the dedication of the first temple on the continent of Europe while I was on my mission.

With so many temples available to us there is still a lot to do, but there are impediments to the work. There is, as always in the work of the Lord, opposition.  You might be interested to read the following account of our ancestor Marriner Wood Merrill.  Click the link below.

An interesting visitor attachment. 

My experience with the Bountiful temple: 

We have a file drawer for our stake in the temple. One can print out ordinances and stamp them with the stake names and place the cards in the drawer for members of the stake who do not have family names to do.  The last time I was there and looked in the drawer there were 4 inches of cards for male endowments and only 3 cards for female endowments.

  

Some people have a difficult time finding names for ordinances, but I have been blessed with the good fortune to be able to find many.  At present I have 576 individuals reserved for ordinances.  The baptism and confirmations seem to be gradually disappearing from this list.  You, my grandchildren, are helping in a great way.  I have sent initiatory ordinances to children and relatives to do and they are getting done. Your grandmother has 128 individuals reserved in her list. Not all those reserved need every ordinance done.  As you can guess the greatest need is for the endowment ordinance, which takes the most time.

In addition Clark, Mary Ellen, Aaron, Sandy, Steve and Rachel are doing research and reserving names as well.

This year make time to go to the temple.  Please do not go without taking a family name.  We had a bishop in Riverton who said that if you did not take a stake or family name to do the ordinances for, you were on temple welfare.  This is at the time when we were doing the second rescue project. 

Do not be on temple welfare.  Your extended family members are counting on you to do their ordinances. All it takes is a call or e-mail to us and we can send you a name or names back via e-mail.  Try it you will like it.