Questions for the day

 Letter written many years ago, but not sent to a church leader.

I had intended to let this be the end of my letter, but some experiences during the past month
have given me some impetus to write to you on another matter. 

For the past 6 years I have served as Chapter Chairman of the Wyoming Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics. I have attended the national meetings and have watched the making of policy and have seen the impact of such statements upon national and state agencies. I have felt quite alone sometimes because I have tried to represent my somewhat conservative views on social issues to be drowned by the overwhelming voices of liberal colleagues. 

Being a member of the Lord’s church does not
foster popular views on social issues, since the ways of God and the ways of the world are usually at opposite poles. I have found during the six years that the four members of the church I have met among the Chapter Chairmen have been good men, but most do not choose to seek to find offices where they may be in a position to more effectively represent the ways of the Lord. As a result, a usually conservative group of physicians now have a policy which holds that social programs holds the answer to replace the family in teenage pregnancy, and day care centers to replace the mother who chooses to work. 

I have often wondered what we who are in the professions are supposed to do? We who have the gospel and realize that it alone can bring about peace and sanity into an otherwise worldly society. Should we involve ourselves in the organization of the world, hoping to exert our influence for good or should we abandon the worldly organizations and put all our efforts into church activity totally ignoring what the world does? 

I realize that church policy and pronouncement on such issues would perhaps be unwise and would certainly raise the ire of the liberal factions and bring about continued discord. 

Here the letter stops.  These are questions that we can pose today. If we do not lead out who will follow?

 

Be a leader.

 

Love, Grandpa

Wrong way drivers

 

The parable of the wrong way driver

The other day on the freeway there were two incidences of wrong way drivers within a 24-hour period. The first accident involved two vehicles and both drivers were killed. In the second one only the driver who was in the wrong was killed, the other was not. There have been a number of wrong way driver incidents in which the drivers were not killed but injuries occurred. The highway patrol has been alerted and seeks to stop the wrong way driver and keep him from injury and death.

Why do some drivers go the wrong way? Perhaps they do not read the signs.  Most on ramps have a sign that alerts the driver that they are entering the freeway going the wrong way.

Perhaps they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Perhaps they are taking their directions from a GPS or someone in the car.

Perhaps they are looking at a video or text on their phone.

This is an analogy to the highway to heaven or the covenant path.  The freeway is called that, because there is no payment required to use it. The covenant path is also free (Salvation is free to all.) that leads us to our Father in Heaven, and we don’t have to pay anything for it, we just have to keep on the covenant path. This covenant path leads to our Father in Heaven and exaltation in the celestial kingdom. All we have to do is keep our covenants. The covenant path begins with baptism into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and we keep on that covenant path by keeping our Heavenly Father’s and Jesus’ commandments. In addition, we covenant in the temple to do certain things and we covenant to obey all of our Father’s commandments and in addition; in the covenant of marriage we covenant to obey all the laws, rites, and covenants pertaining to the holy state of matrimony.

How do people become wrong way drivers on the covenant path?

Perhaps they neglect to pray on a regular basis and communicate with God.

Perhaps they do not read the scriptures that warn us of the evils that are so prevalent around us.

Perhaps they do not listen to or read the words of the prophets who tell us where to go.

Perhaps they transgress the law of chastity or break one of the commandments that they have covenanted to keep.

Perhaps they use drugs or alcohol.

Perhaps they do not attend the sacrament meeting.

Just as the wrong way driver on the freeway can cause death or injury to himself or others, the wrong way driver on the covenant path can cause spiritual death (exclusion from the influence and eventual presence of God) or spiritual injury to themselves and others.

Let us take an example from the Book of Mormon. Korihor did not believe in Christ and sought to lead his fellows who were members of the church astray and was having great success until the prophet (like a highway patrol officer) intervened to save the people from his teachings (the wrong way driver.)

Now an example from more modern times. James J. Strang was a member of the church at the time of the prophet Joseph Smith. (See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Strang) He did not follow the leadership of the church after the death of Joseph smith and led 12,000 people to Beaver Island where he declared himself king and was killed by a gunshot wound.  He was a wrong way driver and not only died spiritually, but physically as well. The church he founded collapsed and the members found other churches.

There are plenty of wrong-way drivers on the Internet. Many apostates seek to crash into you and destroy your faith in the church.  They have been excommunicated and would seek, like Korihor, to lead people astray. 

There are guides such as bishops and stake presidents and priesthood leaders who like the highway patrolmen will help us to avoid being a wrong way driver on the covenant path.

A child or family member who goes the wrong way on the covenant path can injure the feelings of other members of the family by exercising their agency causing pain and suffering and, in some cases, spiritual death.

We have been admonished to do everything possible to stay on the covenant path.

Don’t be a wrong way driver. Stay on the covenant path.

Love,

Grandpa

Model Ariplanes and Me

 

Model airplanes

I will try to detail my experience with model airplanes.  In the far distant recesses of my memory, we lived in Missoula Montana.  I remember that we had some sort of a paper airplane and I seemed to remember that it was associated with cereal boxes.  I don't remember much about it except that it was a glider and not self-propelled.  We then moved to Pocatello and then on to Cheyenne, but I don't remember much about airplanes during that period of time.  When we got to Denver I remember three different kinds of airplanes. 

The first were paper airplanes that we made from a sheet of typing paper.  There were two different kinds one was a long sharp-nosed glider that we would fly off the porch of 433 Corona Street in Denver.  The other was what we called a fighter it was also made out of typing paper but had wider wings and a tail and a rather heavy nose.  This we would launch in a different manner by grabbing it by the nose and throwing it forcefully off the porch.  Neither one of these was very airworthy.

The next airplanes that I remember were, I think, associated with cereal boxes, but I don't remember if we just sent in the box top and got the airplane in the mail or whether it was cut out of the box.  These are represented World War II airplanes and required a penny to be glued into the nose for proper balance.  These were not self-propelled but were gliders and seemed to work well unless they crashed.

I then progressed to model airplanes that were propelled by a propeller and a rubber band.  These planes came in kits and had to be assembled.  They were made of balsa wood and the parts had to be cut out with a razor blade or other sharp object.  Because I was so interested in these planes I asked my parents for an X-Acto knife for Christmas.  It came with a number of different sharp blades much like the surgical scalpels that I became used to later in my medical training.  I would cut out the parts and glue them together which formed a skeleton structure of the airplane.  The kit came with a very thin paper, which would be glued to the framework with airplane glue.  The airplane glue that we used smelled like bananas and had a tendency to form a film if it got on your fingers.  This could be removed with a solvent, but we preferred to chew it off because solvent cost money.  Occasionally we would run out of airplane glue and would use sodium silicate.  You could buy a whole bunch of this at the drugstore, and it would last much longer than a tube of airplane glue.  The only problem was that sodium silicate was water-soluble.  In order to tighten up the paper that we use to cover the wings and fuselage we sprayed it with water.  It would shrink tightly and would make a good base for the paint that we used to cover the entire airplane.  We called this paint model airplane dope.  It came in various colors.

The only problem that we encountered was; if the plane was not balanced right when we flew it, the plane would veer to the ground and crash.  If the plane withstood the impact, we were lucky.  Sometimes we could salvage the plane so that we could make it airworthy to fly and crash again.

Many of the young men in our neighborhood in Denver built model airplanes and flew them.  Some of them even had gasoline engines.  I don't believe I ever had a model with a gasoline engine.  I did have a gasoline engine for a model airplane but never did install it in an airplane.

I do not remember ever having a picture of any of the models that I made.

Maybe you can find a kit and make a model airplane and outshine your grandpa.

 

Three principles and some history

 Written March 7, 1995

This has been edited since (March 2022) to make it applicable to my grandchildren.

Approval

Acceptance

Love
   
    People have a need to feel approval of others.  This is the driving force for behavior in our society.  We smoke for approval, we drink for approval, and we modify our behavior for approval.  Approval of others is one of the overpowering influences in the life of most people today.  We call this influence peer pressure.  Because of it men alter their behavior and give up their agency.  In contemplating this I find that there are few people who are not in one way or another affected by it.  Some, to more of an extreme than others.   In the days that I was growing up the peer pressure was to a great extent in a positive direction.  We had little teenage pregnancy, because the peer pressure was against such behavior and those who found themselves in that position were ostracized by the community. Approval is usually based upon behavior of ideals.      

    
    We often get approval mixed up with acceptance.  This too is a great motivating force in human relationships.  We all have a desire to be accepted in the community for what we are.  Our acceptance should not be determined by our actions.  We are to be accepted because we are children of our Father in Heaven and fellow citizens here in the earth.  Those who do not accept are prejudiced.  As you know this is quite a problem in the world.  Because people are not accepted by others they are made to feel outcast and of little worth.  It is easy to see that if a person does not feel approval, he may not feel acceptance.


    The third principle which fits into this discussion is love.  Love is the motivating principle of the scriptures.  It is mentioned by Paul as charity.  This being the pure love of Christ.  It is said that without charity we are nothing.  This love does not depend upon works nor does it depend on merit.  We receive this love as a free gift and we give it to others freely without expecting them to behave in a certain way or doing anything at all.  It is an unconditional love.  It is the hardest to give and the easiest to receive, because to receive it we have to do absolutely nothing , but to give it we have to extend ourselves beyond our mortal selves and take upon ourselves the attributes of Christ.  In order to give this kind of love it requires enormous effort on our part.  We cannot expect the person that we so love to return that love.  We cannot expect the object of that Charity to behave in a certain way nor can we be disaffected with them because of their actions.

    Some may think that they are not loved if they do not receive constant approval from those around them.  This is a fallacy, because love and approval are two different things.  As parents we are always looked to for approval.  If the parent does not approve of what is done, then we equate that with our being out of favor or unloved.  A small illustration from my own life may serve as an example.  

     In 1987 we took a small trip to Europe with some of our children.  Some. but not all of our children were one of those fortunate enough to go along.  I was in a financial crisis, and I did not know where I was going to get the money to pay for the trip.  I had even considered sending the family, and staying home and working so that I could pay for it and not be out the money which I would earn if I were working.

    There were many things that needed to be done around the house and around the yard.  The office needed to be painted and I really could not afford to hire it done.  It was at this time that my father came to me and said that he had given it some thought and that I ought to cancel the trip and have all the family  stay home and paint the house and the office and use the time together and not go flitting around Europe.

    I was thus put in a quandary.  Should I honor my father and do what he counseled or disregard his advice.  This caused me some concern and I looked in the scriptures to see if I could find an answer.  What would the Lord expect me to do?  Of course you can guess the outcome, but were not privy to the agony that I went through resolving that in my own mind.  I think that I have come to an understanding of when to obey counsel and when the parent has no right to even give his opinion to his children.

    The answer was given many years ago to your grandmother and me by Elder Maxwell.  It concerns decisions of principle and decisions of preference.  The gospel and the commandments are decisions of principle and as such it is the parents responsibility to make sure that the child, no matter what age, understands those principles and is reminded of his obligation to the Lord.  The others are decisions of preference and as such we are allowed to do what we want to and the parent should not express his opinion unless he is asked for it.  It may not be what the parent wants, and may even in fact be entirely at odds with them, but as long as it is a decision of preference, we have full reign to do exactly as the desire indicates.

    I have not been unhappy with my father for his opinion.  I don't think that he has thought any the less of me for not following his counsel, but I know that it did not come from the Lord,  because it was a decision of preference.   This opinion, however did not come to me easily or without much soul searching on my part.  As it worked out, the Lord blessed me with enough money to meet my obligations and to take the trip.  I am not sorry to this day about the decision that I made.  It has had benefits which will last for years.

    Please understand that your grandmother and I love you with an unconditional love.  This does not mean that we will approve of everything that you do.  You must, however, know that we accept you and love you even though we may not approve of what you do.  We will express our opinion when asked for it and if we are human and express it when it isn't asked for,  be patient with us.  We are imperfect and are going through this stage of our life for the first time.

    You may have realized by now that both your grandmother and I have very strong personalities.  We are both opinionated people.  We hope that we are not "bull headed" in our opinions, except where the commandments of the Lord are concerned.  There we hope that we waiver neither to the right or the left.

    It will not matter in the long run what you have done in this life to make a living.  It will matter a great deal what kind of a person you were and have become.  For we are constantly being challenged and constantly improving ourselves, or at least we should be.  President McKay said that one day we would have a personal priesthood interview with the Lord Jesus Christ and that he would ask us the following questions.  How is your relationship to the wife that I gave you?  How have you treated her?  How is your relationship with your children?  Have you treated them as I would have done and taught them the gospel?  He will then ask us to give an accounting of our priesthood responsibilities, not what office we held, but how we magnified the callings that we were given.  He will not ask anything about our earthly employment.

    The greatest battles that are fought here in this life are fought within the soul.  Brother Hugh Nibley says that the things we have to do in this life are to repent and forgive.  I hope that you will have the charity to forgive us as we learn and repent.  


    Our goal with all of our children was to give them the financial and emotional support to gain their own independence.  Changes are coming to my life faster than I ever imagined.

    It is my belief that if we put the Lord first and keep his commandments, pay an honest tithe, keep our thoughts clean and pure, and let not profane words cross our lips, we will be sustained and supported by the Lord, even in our extreme trials.  The simple things are scripture reading, prayers, family home evening, and love in the home.  The rest will come in it's own due time.

    As you can see I wrote this some time ago.  I have been waiting to finish it and so now today the 26th of May I have some time to think and to write.  There are some things that have happened in our life that you need to be aware of.  A few months ago I got a visit from the hospital administrator for the Riverton hospital.  He said that he had heard that I was going to retire.  I replied that I had no serious plans in that direction.  He offered to buy my building and the practice.  I told him that I would give it some thought, and we have been thinking about it.  They had the building appraised and have extended an offer, but it was not what I thought that I would like.  Since that time two other individuals have offered to negotiate on buying the building.  I have thought about it a lot and feel that perhaps now is the time, if things work out to sell the building and retire.

    We had contemplated a mission for some time.  Perhaps now would be the best time to put those plans into action.  We have not made any firm commitments, but the seed has been planted in our minds.  To us, this seems like an exciting and different challenge and will give us a graceful way to ease out of the community and private practice.  We have dreamed many dreams about what we would do.  We hope that we will be able to do all the things that we would like to.

    It seems that you will be getting into a position where you will be able to financially support yourself and the family.  I hope that you get a steady reimbursement that you can count on.  I think that as you try to keep the commandments and get close to the Lord that you will be blessed commensurate with your righteousness and the way will open up for you to be successful in your chosen field.
    
 
                Love,

Grandpa