Thoughts on becoming eighty years of age.

When I was born the life expectancy for a male was about 59 years. Of course that means that the infectious diseases of the time claimed the lives of many young children. There were people who lived longer, but the greater majority died earlier. The women lived about 4 years longer than the men at that time.

There were people that were born at that time who have lived to my age, but if the tables are correct only half of the people born in 1934 in the United States lived past the age of 59.

There will be an ever-increasing number of us who will die during the next decade.

I was fortunate to have survived Scarlet Fever and pneumonia in the first two years of my earthly existence. I got measles, mumps, chicken pox, whopping cough and German Measles. There were no complications in my case.

So when I reflect back upon my life I am blessed to live as long as I have.

I have lived in an age where technology has blessed my life.  I had a crystal set radio to listen with earphones when we lived in Denver. My parents had a radio with vacuum tubes. We did not have TV to watch until I first saw it at my aunt's house my freshman year in college and could watch 3 channels on a 12-inch screen.  Now we have a 42-inch, wide screen, high definition TV to watch over 250 channels and the only reason the screen isn't larger is because it won't fit into the space in our house. One could argue that television is more of a curse than a blessing.

I used to have to go to a theater to watch a movie. We now can watch movies on Netflix or You Tube or pull out one of about 150 DVDs from our own library or an equal number of VHS tapes that we own to watch on demand.

When I was in high school my father bought a phonograph. We did not own one of the 78-rpm players. We bought a 45-rpm player with a record changer that would play ten records, one after another. We used the radio speaker to amplify the sound.

We bought a number of albums and a few single records.

When I got my inheritance money from my grandfather Gee in 1965, I bought a 33 1/3-rpm high fidelity system with large speakers and we started collecting long play record albums. We collected and played these records. We still have all of the records, but we rarely listen to them even though we have a high fidelity system.

We never owned a wire recorder. We did purchase a couple of tape recorders. We bought a four track stereo tape recorder and a number of tapes to play.

We then went to eight track continuous play tapes. We had an eight track tape player in the car and one at home.

The compact cassette tapes and players replaced the eight track players. We collected a number of tapes of this variety.

When compact disks or CDs came on the scene we found those to our liking and began collecting those and bought a player that would play our records, compact cassette tapes and CDs.  We have a number of CDs including 25 just of Christmas songs.

My children gave me an iPod so that I could have music wherever I went. These tunes were transferred over to my iPhone, which soon became overloaded with music and other apps.

I was first introduced to cellular or mobile phones on our mission to Germany. They call them handies there. I carried one for three years and became so attached to them that I bought one when I came home. We got another one in Moscow and then again when we came back and have not been without one since.

I will have to write a chapter in my history entitled "Computers and Me" Needless to say they have been a part of my life.

And so technology has blessed my life.

Family history or genealogy has been a great interest and I have more work now than I will ever have time to accomplish in this life. I will entitle one chapter in my history to this subject.

And so family history has blessed my life.

The most important thing that I have done in my life of eighty years is to marry the right girl in the right place under the right authority at the right time of my life, then to be the father of eight children. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to see them grow and mature and have families and children and grandchildren of their own.

Recently in celebration of my four score years at a family reunion family night, I was privileged to address my assembled posterity and bear them my witness of the truthfulness of the restored gospel. I became quite emotional as I realized what a responsibility it was to bring eight children into this world and to teach them of their Father in Heaven and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I cannot express in the least how overpowering and daunting this task is and how inadequate I feel at this time.

There is no going back and starting over. If I live as long as my parents did, I hope that I will stand true to the cause of Christ and be a positive influence in the lives of my posterity.

My wife and family have blessed my life, and more abundantly than here expressed.

I hope one day to stand before the judgment bar of God and be able to assent to the appellation of having been true and faithful in all things and hear the words spoken, "Well done."

And so the gospel of Christ has blessed my life. There is no space to enumerate the ways.

Thus, now on to the rest of my life.

Four Little Words

Aspire
Contend
Coerce
Excuse

I recently heard a talk given by a member of the temple presidency. He took the above words and said that these were tools that Satan uses to divert people to his cause. If you remember Satan used each of these characteristics in the pre-existence before he was cast out of his father's presence for rebellion.
If you look around you, you will see these characteristics in people that you know and people in the news.

Aspire

In the pre-existence Satan aspired to try to replace God. Now using this principle people are led to think that rising to the top is the goal we need to achieve in this life.  They have little thought about the life after this one. They are only focused on the here and now. They have not understood the principles of the gospel. To aspire to worldly things is contrary to the gospel plan. A brief look at the parable of the workers in the vineyard will give us an understanding of how the world should conform to the true principles of the gospel. The workers each got the same pay for different amounts of labor. All The Lord of the vineyard asked of them was to labor with their might and to do their best. So my dear grandchildren it is not important to be the best in worldly pursuits or to aspire to greatness. As the song says, "Do what is right, let the consequence follow." This means that of each is required constant improvement through our whole life enduring in faith to the end.

Contend

After Satan was rejected his next step was to bring about contention. He rose up in rebellion. Notice how this occurs in our world. When someone is disappointed or frustrated, they get defensive and begin to respond by retaliation or contention. Let us look at the forms of contention that appear in our world.

First is war. War is the product of Satan's influence in this life and his challenge in retaliation to his being banished and that he will eventually be defeated. We are promised that in our days and until Christ comes again that there will be wars and rumors of wars.  This contention is deadly. It causes death and destruction. Many have lost their homes. Many have been injured. The contention of war never solves anything. Satan inspires war.

One of the prominent displays of contention that is seen in our society is in politics. Political parties take the philosophies of men and when one does not agree with another they rise up in great swelling words to prove their point and contend with one another inviting Satan to take part in the exchange of words. This is sometimes referred to as debate.  In the early days of the church some of the brethren formed a debating society. One of those who was involved was William Smith, the prophet's brother. Some of the discussion got quite heated. The prophet Joseph told them that contention was counter to the principles of the restored gospel and asked them to disband the debating society. William got so angry with his brother that he attacked him physically.

The most destructive form of contention occurs within the walls of our homes and in our families. One of the ways Satan tries to destroy the family is to cause friction between husband and wife and between family members. The spirit of the Lord cannot dwell where there is contention. There is no contention in the presence of The Lord.  Christ said, ' Peace I leave with you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not you heart be troubled.' We are to have peace and not contention in the home. King Benjamin admonished the parents of his day that they should not let their children fight and quarrel with one another and serve the devil who is the master of sin.

We are bombarded by TV advertisements that encourage us to contend one with another by employing the service of an attorney. The object of this endeavor is to get gain.  The attorney is skilled at manipulating people and institutions to his advantage [under] the pretense of justice for the individual.  This is contention disguised as altruism.  In the end it only fosters ill feelings. Money is the object of this endeavor.  Satan's golden question is, " Have you any money?" Do not fall into this trap. Note that a great many TV shows dwell on contention.

Coercion

To coerce is to force someone to do something. It usually means to break down the opposition. This can occur either by physical force or by manipulation of the individual. The Lord put it this way; " No power or influence can or ought to be maintained ... only by persuasion and long suffering and gentleness and meekness and love unfeigned." Earlier in this instruction it talks about control, dominion and compulsion.  We find this in many of the interactions that take place around us. The first one that comes to mind is the temper tantrum. As a pediatrician I saw this behavior many times. If it is rewarded, it becomes a destructive character trait in the life of the individual. It is a form of manipulation to get ones way. This is seen in children and adults. The adult may not lie down on the floor and kick and scream, but they can have temper tantrums just as manipulative.

On the broader scene we see it in a different form. It is called a demonstration. People are enticed (and I use that word deliberately) to gather in what may be termed a mob and protest to coerce the government or individuals involved to change an ideal, law, opinion, or practice that someone does not agree with. These demonstrations became a popular way to coerce when I was growing up. The 1960 era was the start of the so-called 'sit in'. It even goes so far as to involve people demonstrating because a dog was shot by a police officer.
Manipulation is a subtle form of coercion. It is a selfish way of saying 'I am right and I will only do it my way.'  Bargaining is in a way a form of manipulation.
Here is an example of bargaining as a way of manipulation.  My children used to sing it.

Tell me a story, tell me a story
Tell me a story before I go to bed;
You promised me, you said you would,
You gotta give in ‘cause I’ve been good,
Tell me a story before I go to bed.

Although this may seem rather innocuous, it contains a subtle manipulation.

We all do this from time to time without realizing what we are doing, but it is a tool of the world and will not be found in the presence of God. If we want to live in the presence of God and be like him, we will not practice coercion in any form.

Excuse

The last of this group of Satan's tools of destruction is one of the most used. This does not refer to the note written by the parent to explain why the child missed school because of illness, although some times this can be detrimental to the character because it may not be truthful.

Excuses are used to rationalize behavior that is destructive to the integrity of the individual. We have all used it at some time in our life. We try to blame people or circumstances for shortcomings on our part rather than admit to failure in our behavior. We all are imperfect. We all make mistakes. But to rationalize our behavior by not taking responsibility for our own actions is soul destructive. This is a form of substitute repentance, which salves our conscience, but does not refine our character and does not qualify us for the atonement of Jesus Christ. It may become so prevalent in our behavior that we are entirely oblivious to it in our life. To quote Nephi, ' And thus he (Satan) binds them with his awful chains and leads them carefully down to hell!' We are bound by our own rejection of the attributes of God. We become satisfied by the ersatz when we could have the genuine. No wonder they will weep and wail and gnash their teeth when they discover how their character has been destroyed by their own actions. A line from Shakespeare comes to mind: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings."

Do not excuse your behavior in any way. Recognize your faults openly and ask for forgiveness and repent with full purpose of heart. God will not take excuses, so why should we offer them to anyone, let alone our Father in Heaven.
 
In summary: do not aspire to position, do not contend, never coerce and avoid excusing your behavior,

Love,
Grandpa