Advice to those going away to college or into life

When my children went away to college, I took them aside and tried to give them some advice. I was not as articulate as Polonius, but I tried to tell them some of my experiences. What follows, my dear grandchildren, is Shakespeare mixed with grandpa.

I had fun when I went to Weber College. I had the opportunity to live with my uncle Wendell and go to Ricks College and work on his dairy farm milking cows twice a day or go to Ogden and live with my father's aunt Alta Lowe. She had recently lost her husband and needed someone to help mow the lawn and shovel the snow and help her clean the house and help her with her dinner parties and entertaining.

My parents wanted me to go to Ricks College, but they let me make the decision. I think that they were disappointed that I chose Weber. Unbeknownst to me they asked my great aunt to make sure that I went to church. Aunt Alta was a member but semi-active. They were concerned for my spiritual welfare. I went to church twice each Sunday and to MIA on Wednesday evening. After a while my aunt said that my parents had told her that I was to be diligent in my meeting attendance, but she was not prepared for me to be gone to church so much. It was never in my thoughts to skip any meetings. The church and the gospel were as much a part of who I was as my then pimply face.

I wanted to experience all that college had to offer. I was in Community Theater. I took private voice lessons and sang in a men's chorus and the college choir. I played in the band and the orchestra and had a lead part in the college production of the Merry Widow. I was in a local fraternity.

In short I tried to be involved. I did not do too badly in my school studies either. I graduated cum laude.
My parents asked me to attend the institute of religion, so I did that as well.

So when you go to college or the university try to take advantage of every opportunity that is available to you. Do not shrink in a corner and wait for things to come to you and do not be afraid to fail. If you learn this early, you will be better for it, for we all fail at some time in our life.

When I came home from my mission, I went to BYU. A couple of missionaries from my mission were there. I contacted them and they were both living in a house off campus. There was room for me. My second missionary companion decided to go somewhere else to live, so I moved in with Lawrence Wilson. We had shared the same room in Berlin, although he was not my companion. He was the mission secretary.

In that house was the brother of a missionary from our mission. He was tall and strong and good-looking, but not very religious. He was from California and drove a convertible. We did not have much in common except living in the same house. The school term passed and I went home to work for the forest service.

When I came back, I lived in the same house and had mostly new roommates. Lawrence Wilson had gone into the army. There were a couple of returned missionaries and some freshmen. The California roommate was not there. I became aware that he was living an immoral life the previous term. The girl involved became pregnant and had an abortion.

One day I received a summons to appear before the BYU honor council. I did not know what I had done. When I got there they asked me if I was aware of my roommate's immorality. I responded in the affirmative. They asked me what I had done about it. I told them that I had reported the fact to my bishop, Lester Allen.

In my conversation to my children, I related to them this story. I told them and I am telling you that when you see someone in the church who is not keeping the commandments, you should go to the bishop and tell them.  If I had not done that I would have been expelled from BYU and it would have closed doors for me.

When I was in high school we read Shakespeare’s Hamlet. There is a friend of Hamlet named Laertes.  His father Polonius gives him advice since he is going to France to school.  

Yet here, Laertes! aboard, aboard, for shame! The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay’d for.
 
In other words, don’t procrastinate your departure. 

There; my blessing with thee!

It might be a good thing to get a father’s blessing before you go off to college.

And these few precepts in thy memory 

In other words remember well what I am telling you now and pay strict attention.

See thou character.

Character is the making of an individual.  If you do not have character, then you really are of little worth to yourself.


Give thy thoughts no tongue, Nor any unproportioned thought his act. 

In other words do not say everything that you think and do not do everything that comes to mind. Be very careful not to act rashly.


Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.

Do not play to the crowd and do not be commonplace.

Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel; But do not dull thy palm with entertainment Of each new-hatch’d, unfledged comrade.

Friends are important, but they must be true friends and make you want to improve yourself and be a better person.

Beware Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, Bear’t that the opposed may beware of thee.

To contend is of the devil, but if it is principle that you are defending make sure that people know your position and respect it.

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;

Listen much and speak your opinion seldom. People like a listener and not a talker.

Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.

Criticism of your actions will come from many areas.  Some is justified and some is not. Accept that which is justified.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy; For the apparel oft proclaims the man, And they in France of the best rank and station Are of a most select and generous chief in that. 

Dress well.  Do not wear jeans with holes in them.  Dress modestly and spend your money on quality clothes.  The fashions of the day soon fade and just because it comes from France does not make it appropriate.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

Do not borrow because the lender may be a friend at first, but money has a tendency to make people upset. And if you are the lender you may not feel amicable toward the person who does not pay you back. Budget wisely and do not go to the loan sharks and payday loan establishments.

This above all: to thine ownself be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. 

Long before Mrs. Tweed made us memorize this, my parents quoted this verse to my brothers and me. This means that you must be true to the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you make them part of you then what you do to others will be in accordance with those principles as well and you will not be dishonest in your dealings with anyone.

Farewell: my blessing season this in thee! 

And now I bless you, my grandchildren, that if you use these guiding principles in your life, you will save yourself and those that love you much sorrow.

Love,

Grandpa

An unexpected encounter

You never know what you are going to experience on a flight on an airplane. Most of the time things go smoothly and without event. The last flight that we were on was the exception to this rule.

We were scheduled to fly home to Salt Lake from Seattle. We had had experience previously with long waits going through security at SeaTac airport so we arranged to be there two hours before the flight left. We were not disappointed. It took us fifty minutes to get through security.

We had some time before boarding, so we like to eat seafood when we are on the coast and they have a seafood place in the terminal. Ivar's serves pretty good seafood, so we ordered Salmon and chips to split between us. It was “qs” as they say in medicine (quantity sufficient) for both of us.

We got to the gate and were in the first boarding group. For some reason we went to the back of the plane to get a seat next to the window. For a while it looked like we might be the only ones in that row on the right side of the plane until a rather large tall man weighing approximately 285 lbs came to deposit his large frame into the aisle seat next to me.

He was rather loud and at times somewhat crude in his language. An electrician by trade he was going to Pittsburgh to watch the Steelers play. When he asked where we were going, I told him Salt Lake, he asked if we were Mormons. That led to a discussion about the church. He said that he would like to know some more about Joseph Smith.

We were just settling down and had started to pull away from the gate when the stewardess inquired over the loud speaker if there was a doctor on board. There was a passenger having a seizure that needed assistance. I raised my hand and there was another man a row behind me across the aisle that also raised his hand. The stewardess ushered us a few rows back to a man sitting in an aisle seat who was slumped in his seat.

When we arrived he was unresponsive. The other doctor felt for a carotid pulse and I felt for a radial pulse. There was no pulse. I checked his pupils and they were dilated. I used the light on my iPhone and the pupils did not react. He was not breathing. We got him on the floor of the plane and the other doctor started chest compressions and I checked his radial pulse. The vigorous chest compressions were producing a good strong radial pulse.

The flight attendants were bringing a defibrillator and I started ripping his shirt from the bottom. A pair of scissors was produced and we cut the shirt up the center of the chest. The other doctor placed the pads on his chest and we yelled “clear”. I moved back and by that time the EMT personnel arrived and I got out of their way.

I went back to my seat and told Alice that the man was dead. I later learned that they shocked him a second time and converted his rhythm from ventricular fibrillation to a sinus rhythm and restored his blood pressure to 105 systolic.

He began breathing on his own and was placed on a transport board and taken off the plane through the back door and placed on a waiting ambulance to be transported to the hospital.

The fact that his upper torso and arms were covered with tattoos made me suspect that he had suffered an overdose. That was the conclusion of the other doctor as well. Perhaps one will never know the etiology of the near fatal incident.

It was interesting that both doctors were active members of the church.

Because of this incident our flight departure was delayed more than an hour.  We were the last two people to board our waiting flight to Salt Lake from Las Vegas. They held the flight for us.

Thus an orthopedic surgeon and a retired pediatrician were able to be of assistance to a stranger in need. We hope the outcome was salutary.

You, my grandchildren, will probably never be called to resuscitate someone on board an airplane, but the Lord will use your talents in other ways to bring back to life someone who is in dire straits spiritually.

The next event following closely upon the code blue was also interesting.  I got the e-mail address from the man sitting next to me and promised to send him some information about Joseph Smith.  Here is what I sent:

Dear Kevin,

I was pleased to make your acquaintance on the plane.  I hope that you are enjoying your trip and have a safe and uneventful trip back home.

Attached in PDF format is a document prepared by Joseph Smith for publication when he was alive.  It details his history.  You will find there are many views of this controversial man. If he were a charlatan or a deceiver he would have built himself up.  I have highlighted in verse 33 what he said the angel told him would happen to his reputation.

The book that he translated is called the Book of Mormon, because the compiler of the record was a man by the name of Mormon.

If you are interested, I would be happy to send you a copy of the book for you to read.  All I need is an address.

My family has been closely associated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for 183 years.  My ancestors have been driven from their homes in Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois by mobs because of their association with Joseph Smith and the church until they came to Utah.

I can testify to you that Jesus is the Christ and the Savior.  That the Bible and the Book of Mormon testify of his divinity.

We send missionaries to all people to allow them the opportunity to learn the truths of the restored gospel, but we do not try to intimidate or trick people.
 

Sincerely,

Perhaps this flight will result in not only saving one person from a physical death, but saving one person from a spiritual death as well.

Be prepared to be a benefit to those around you. You never know when the opportunity will come.

Love,

Grandpa