Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Letter written in 1998


Letter to Clark detailing some of my experiences in the church.                                                                                           June 6, 1998
Dear Clark,
            Since you are my son and there is a relationship of trust and understanding I would like to share a few thoughts with you, not to be taken as suggestions or looked upon as revelation, but merely musings of someone who has been along the path some years ago and has learned by experiences in a different time and different setting than at present.  Some time ago the church presented a filmstrip in which the subject of listening was discussed.  I have often thought on the principle that it was trying to present.  I don’t quite remember it verbatim, but the thing that I do remember was that a friend listens and then like the farmer who takes the full head of wheat in his hand, rubs it and with a gentle breath blows the chaff away.  We should listen and not be critical or respond to everything, but take everything, mull it over and with a gentle breath blow the chaff away and consider the wheat that is left.  I am giving you, more than likely, much chaff in my musings, but I feel that for me it will be a therapeutic exercise for my soul, and once having said it can be forgotten.

            I served as a high councilor from September to December in 1968.  I had little experience with church government and leadership before that time.  I had served as General Secretary of the Aaronic Priesthood Adult as it was called in those days.  I served in the University student ward under Bishop Oscar McConkie and also in the University Stake Married Student Ward under Bishop Graham Doxey.  At that time there was no ward council, no PEC meeting and no personal stewardship interviews.  I was given a lesson manual and told to teach and activate.  I do not feel that I was really very successful at either to this day.  I certainly did not learn much about priesthood administration.  I just did “my duty”, but never learned my duty.

            I served for less that a year as counselor in the Elders Quorum presidency in the Ensign Third Ward.  I was in my last year of my pediatric residency at that time.  I felt a bit inadequate and really don’t remember much about the experience.  I remember that the home teaching program and the family home evening programs were introduced at that time and I was impressed with them.

            We moved to Lander and I was called by the Bishop to teach the Priests Quorum.  I really enjoyed doing that.  I thought that the best job in the church was teaching the Priests Quorum.  Early in the following spring I was called into the stake Young Men’s Presidency.  I found it somewhat frustrating, because I was not able to fully do what was expected of me because I was then delivering babies and could not stray too far from Lander to go on the stake activities, and they had a stake dance once a month.

            We moved to Lemoore, California on the Navy base in July of 1966.  The first Sunday that we went to church the ward clerk came to me and ask us to go with him to the clerk’s office to fill out information so that our membership records could be requested.  We also were interviewed by the bishop.  He said that we would have callings as soon as our membership records arrived.  Later the bishop told me this story.  The ward needed a General Secretary for the Aaronic Priesthood Adult.  They had been looking for one for months and did not find one.  The counselors kept encouraging the bishop to call one and he seemed to keep dragging his feet.  One Sunday in Bishopric meeting the bishop told his counselors that the Lord had prepared someone to come to the area and was sending him and to be patient.  When we were interviewed the bishop knew who that was to be and when our records arrived, he called me in and issued the call.  I had this calling twice before and did not appreciate it and did not like it and had it not been for my training in the church would have refused it.  I remember telling your mother that I disliked the position so much that I was going to do the job so well that the Lord would never call me to that position again.  As it happened soon after I left California the church introduced the prospective elder program and the responsibility fell to the president of the Elder’s Quorum. 

            As I look back at those two years, I can see that they were not only a spiritual preparation for me, but an administrative preparation as well.  I learned about church councils and I could watch the administration of the ward at a level that I had never seen before.  We had a good bishop who was an able administrator and a spiritual man.  We got along well together, and I felt that he was my friend.  I read what material there was to read on my duties and responsibilities.  I prepared Sunday lessons for the members of the Adult Aaronic Priesthood, which we taught during priesthood meeting.  I attended Priesthood Executive Committee meeting and Correlation Council meeting.  Then the bishop asked me to teach a temple preparation seminar.  In those days it was called Project Temple.  He called and interviewed some couples to attend the seminars to be held at his home on Sunday evening.  Some of the men were inactive or partially active Elders who had never been to the temple and some were from my Adult Aaronic group.

            The people who came were choice people.  They were committed by the bishop to attend and honored that commitment.  I do not recall how many people were in the first group, but I think it was four couples.  The bishop’s wife prepared refreshments for afterward and I gave the lessons that were outlined.  I prepared and although I don’t remember so much at the time that I did it, I think that I taught by the spirit and with conviction and testimony.  I studied the lessons and presented them in a way that they could be understood.  Each week the bishop would take one of the couples in for an interview while the others were having refreshments.  He would resolve concerns and ask them about their progress toward the temple.  We seemed to work well together, and the group became close friends.  At the conclusion of the seminar we went to the temple in Oakland and the couples received their endowments and were sealed. 

            After the first seminar the bishop told me he never had to ask people to go to the seminar again.  Members of the ward would come to him and ask him if they could not go to the seminar so they could go to the temple.  The members of the first group stood up in testimony meeting at various times and bore testimony about the effect of the seminar and the temple in their lives.  The ward and the stake was strengthened, because many of them were called to positions of leadership and responsibility.  There followed thereafter a series of seminars.  I do not recall how many.  Some were more successful than others, but the lives of many were blessed and even those who did not eventually end up in the temple at the conclusion had a better understanding of the church and the gospel than they did when they started.  I have taught those seminars later in my life, but I think that none were as effective as at that time.  You mother and I went together and even though it meant leaving our children at home with a babysitter on Sunday evening it was a strengthening influence in our life.


            I was first introduced to stake priesthood leadership meeting in California.  I enjoyed going to the meetings and being instructed in my duties.  The stake president asked each of the General Secretaries of Aaronic Priesthood Adult to work with the members and try to get 5% of the number advanced to the Melchizedek Priesthood.  The first year we were able to double that number.  The second year we were asked to get 10% of those who held the Aaronic Priesthood to advance to the Melchizedek Priesthood.  We were again able to double that number.  We were fortunate indeed to be so blessed.  I feel that the Lord prepared those people and that we were only instruments in his hands to bring his children to a knowledge of the covenants of the temple.  I really looked forward to stake priesthood meetings.  It seemed to be exciting in a way.  As I look back upon it, I don’t remember that it was ever dull or boring.  I don’t know whether it was just my enthusiasm or whether it was the spirit there.

            I left Lemoore and returned to Lander to serve.  I don’t know what I was called to do when I came back, but I was asked to teach seminary and then in September I was called to serve on the high council.  I had not been instructed as to the duties of a high counselor.  I was just told when and where to show up.  I was given a handbook of instruction and so I read it.  I read the Aaronic priesthood handbook, because I was assigned to the Aaronic Priesthood committee and given the assignment of the Riverton Ward.  I was told to visit the ward and so I did.  I did not know what I was supposed to do, but I showed up and tried to decide what I could do to help.  We held high council meeting once a week on Monday nights and Tuesday night was family night in the stake.  I suppose that I attended, at the most, 10 high council meetings and then was called to be the stake president and preside over the high council.  I chose the two counselors in the stake presidency to replace the two high councilors that I chose to be my counselors in the stake presidency.  I was instructed to release them as soon as possible, because one was my father. 

            I read and reread the handbook of general instruction.  I had back copies of the priesthood bulletin and I read all those and noted how the instructions changed from time to time.  I read the book Priesthood and Church Government.  I patterned what I did after what I had seen done until I found instructions to the contrary or as I was led by the spirit.  I read the scriptures at night while your mother was getting ready for bed.  I felt a great need to know the gospel and to know the doctrine and the administration of the church.  I got my father’s tapes that he had made of the regional meetings that he had attended, and I made it a point to attend general conference and to read past conference reports.  I wanted to be the most well-informed person in the stake.  I felt that there was much to learn.

            At that period in the church there was a great deal of material, which came out from the brethren to teach the priesthood their duty.  I would go over it and share the filmstrips and movies with my family.  I would then teach it to the high council and the bishops in hopes that they would pass it on to the members.  I found that the biggest problem that I had as a stake president was that the information and instruction given at the stake level never filtered down to the individual member in the ward.  Some of course did get there but it was a minimum and the things that I considered important were often not communicated to the people that needed to hear.  I believe that this is still a prime problem in the church today.  I believe that the high council is an indispensable part of that communication link.  There were many members of the high council who did not feel it their responsibility to facilitate the communication.  I often told the council that proper communication needed to be reinforced in at least three different modes and oft repeated in order for the message to sink in and be understood.

            As I was new at things, I did not know anything about what was expected of the high council and so I had to read and learn what was expected of the high council.  The stake was formed from a mission district in 1962 and so was only 6 years old when I was called to preside.  No one knew very much, and most had not served on a high council prior to their call to serve on that one.  I felt it was my calling to teach them their duty and I spent a lot of time doing that.  I would learn something and then I would teach that to the high council.  We had never had a disciplinary council in the stake and so I had to learn and study about what to do.  I am sure that I made some mistakes, but no one knew any better what to do than I did.  I read the journal of discourses about church courts and proceedings and then read what the handbook and Priesthood and Church Government had to say.  It was a learning experience for everyone. 

            I observed that as the high counselors came and went,  how each one handled his assignments and learned his duty.  I was disappointed in many brethren, because they would be given a handbook of general instructions and various handbooks of their assigned responsibilities and they would not read them or learn what they were expected to do.  They would not polish their speaking skills or learn to be better than they were.  I did not feel that I should hold instruction classes in how to be a high counselor.  I was learning how to be a stake president and I was busy enough with that.  I did what I could, but I could not hold people’s hands.  I made assignments and then expected them to use their energy and ability to receive inspiration to do the job and get results.  I was not the kind of administrator who called to check up to see if they had accomplished their assignment.  I might have been able to get better results if I had learned to do that.  I just gave the assignment and then if it wasn’t done, I did not give it to someone else.  It just wasn’t done.  Now that I have had 30 years’ experience, I would probably do things differently.  I tried to involve everyone in the discussion and then explain why I made the decision that I did.

            I felt that discussions on a topic to bring out everyone’s point of view was important but most of the members of the high council would sit and listen and not participate and would not feel that they would dare to enter into the discussion.  They felt that they were there to rubber stamp the decisions of the stake presidency and thus there was not a true council.  Many of them did not take time to think about the issue or to put in some study to determine what principles applied to the situation.  They then were not a part of the process and many were afraid to make their opinions known.  They were afraid, I guess, of thinking that their opinion was of no worth.  This makes the concept of government by council a farce rather than a reality.  The strength of the stake presidency and high council working together is that one should come to a decision with all aspects of the problem having been critically appraised by more than one person. 

            Just as there are many different people by outward appearance, there are different ways to lead in the church.  The leaders are diverse and not two people will do things exactly alike, but the closer that one can come to a unity of purpose, the closer we come to what the Savior would do.  I am convinced that there is more than one right way to do things, but not everything.  The high council is a place to learn spirituality as well as administration, but some leaders are so engrossed in the temporal affairs, that they short the spiritual side of things.  I once made a list of things that I would do differently if I were called to leadership again.  
             
            1. Be prepared to teach at all times and in all situations.  Often when I would visit a ward priesthood meeting, they would ask me if I had anything to say or a message and I would feel that I would not have anything to say so I would decline to say anything.  If I had it to do over again, I would never miss an opportunity to teach by the spirit and from the scriptures.  The members need the example and are hungry for spiritual things.  Since the stake president and high councilors are called to be teachers, they cannot be weary in the administration of their duties to teach and lead.  I often felt that I was a like a watering hole and everyone came to drink and I felt like I ran out of water and needed replenishing of my own.  I now know that when such occurrences happen that the Lord will replenish us as we feed the sheep.

            2. Take time to ponder and reflect more.  I had so much time taken up with family and practice that I could rarely have a time to be alone and pray and ponder.  I would go into my room to pray and one of the children or my wife would have something that needed to be done or attended to and I would lose that time when I was spiritually prepared.  I often would find that time early in the morning in the shower to receive revelation and ponder the things of the spirit, but it was not as often as I needed.

            3. I would take time to compliment more with deserved specific praise.  I ran across some letters that I wrote to my children at various stages of their lives.  I would do it more frequently and also include others who are struggling.  I often noticed people that needed lifting with a kind word.  I wish that I had said just a kind word here and there more than I did.  I don’t believe that you can ever be too kind.  I often feel that I have to say something profound, but it is the time to notice and just say hello how are you, I am interested in you, that the people need.  I would develop that part of my personality, for I am by nature shy and not outgoing at all.

            4.  I would think more of Christ.  So often we take that for granted, but we spend so little time actually doing it.  Although the interpretation is strained the scripture “What think ye of Christ?” comes to mind.

            5. I would be more familiar with the scriptures.  I felt that there were few in the stake who had an understanding of the scriptures that I did, but I know that I was not and still am not as conversant with them as I would wish to be. 

            6. I would teach people to learn to be guided by the spirit.  I tried to do this, but I do not feel that I was successful.  I believe that this is one of the great needs of the church today.  We have a tendency to get caught up in doctrinal dissertations and not to bask in the sweet influence of the spirit, which can teach us far better and far quicker than mortal words.

            7. I would be bold without being overbearing.  The invitation to come to Christ can be issued to member and non-member alike with sweetness that will mimic the Saviors invitation.

            I suppose that I could add to the list more, but that will suffice to work on for the next few years.  I can do all of these things without being in a leadership position, but when one is in that position, he is given exposure that makes it imperative that he emulate the Savior more.

            I have read the Book of Mormon many times, but about 2 years ago I came upon Alma 13 and it was as though I had never read it before.  It defines the duties and office of High Priest.  It mandates the High Priest to be a teacher of righteousness.  If I were to ever address a high council again, I would point out that we are to be teachers constantly and that we have been called to this calling before the foundation of this world, because of our righteousness.  If we fail in this calling, we have thrown away a great heritage.  I do not ever hope to interview any High Priest who says like one did years ago.  ‘I let my wife give all the family home evening lessons, because I am not a teacher.’  I do not think that that excuse will wash when we meet our Savior.  We will then see as we are seen and know as we are known and will then realize who we are and what God expected of us.  That will be a great day of revelation for many people.

            I think that you have the understanding to learn your duty and to act in the office in which you are called with all diligence.  I appreciate being your father and the father of good children.  I appreciate the fact that you have been true to the present and assume that you will be true in the future.  I love to be in your presence and for me it is a great honor to be your father.  I hope that in the future we will have some time to visit in depth, but I do not feel that it will be for some time, because of our callings.  We may have to put that on hold until the appropriate time comes for both of us.  In the meantime, we will have to communicate by e-mail and letter and the occasional call.  I appreciate your insight into gospel matters that is communicated in the talks that you have sent us.  If it fits into your schedule, please continue to share.  We will try and keep up our spirituality on this end so that we can all be edified.

            Love,

            Dad  

No comments:

Post a Comment