Thoughts on ordaining Philip to the office of High Priest

Thoughts on ordaining Philip to the office of High Priest

When I was a young man my father conferred upon me the Aaronic Priesthood and ordained me a Deacon, Teacher and Priest.  This was the pattern that I grew up with and one that I expected to continue.

I do not remember what my priesthood line of authority was when my father was an Elder. Just prior to moving to Lander my father was called to be a counselor in the bishopric and as such it was necessary for him to be ordained a High Priest and set apart as a member of the bishopric. At that time this was only done by a general authority. Elder Joseph Francis Merrill of the Council of the Twelve was assigned to the Denver stake conference and was given the assignment to ordain my father to the office of High Priest and set him apart as a member of the bishopric.

Elder Merrill was the son of my grandmother Gee's grandfather Marriner W. Merrill. Thus he was her uncle. He came to dinner at our house. That is about all that I remember.

Between my freshman and sophomore year in college I came home for the summer to work. My father was the branch president and he interviewed me to receive the Melchizedek priesthood and be ordained to the office of Elder. Since we were in the West Central States Mission, I had to be interviewed by the mission president, Sylvester Broadbent.

My parents and I went over to Riverton to meet with President Broadbent. He had some business to do, so he gave me the assignment to read the 84th section of the Doctrine and Covenants. He then brought me in to the branch president's office and laid his hands upon my head and conferred upon me the Melchizedek priesthood and ordained me to the office of Elder. I was expecting my father to do this. I am sure that he was disappointed as well. I got President Boadbent's line of priesthood authority. I wrote it down and then copied it later into my missionary journal.

At that time it was not the practice for people to follow the patriarchal line of priesthood authority. Although there are still some priesthood leaders in the church that are of the opinion that it really doesn't matter and that the priesthood is the same, I have always thought that, if possible, the father, if worthy, should ordain the son.

After I came back from California l was called to serve on the high council. As a result it was necessary for me to be ordained to the office of High Priest. My father was, at that time, serving as a counselor in the stake presidency. He ordained me to the office of High Priest and thus my priesthood lineage was again through my father's line of authority.

All of my sons were ordained to the office of Elder by me so their line of priesthood authority followed mine.

While we were serving our mission in Frankfurt Clark was called to serve on the high council. He obtained permission from his stake president to fly to Frankfurt for me to ordain him to the office of High Priest. We were able to accomplish this.  I was pleased that they would allow him to be ordained by his father.

During the time that we were home from our first mission John was asked to be the secretary of the high priest's group and he asked me to come down to Provo and ordain him to that office. I was then able to honor that request.

While we were on our mission to Russia Joseph was called to serve in the bishopric and wanted me to ordain him to the office of High Priest. He arranged for a flight to Frankfurt and we obtained permission from the area presidency to fly from Moscow to Frankfurt as well.  Marcus came to Frankfurt and we all met together in a hotel room and I ordained Joseph to the office of High Priest.

Philip also wanted me to ordain him as well and knew that I was getting older. He visited with the stake president and asked him if that were a possibility. There was no reason for him to hold that office and so nothing was done about it.

I recently received a call from Philip asking if we would not come down to Dallas. He had been released as a seminary teacher and called to be a member of the bishopric and wanted us the fly down and for me to ordain him to the office of High Priest, which was done on August 16th.

I feel honored and humbled to be able to have had this singular opportunity granted to me. I think of all those who I have ordained as Elders and High Priests who carry my line of priesthood authority. I think of those whose fathers were worthy to perform this ordinance and were not given the opportunity.
Although it doesn't really matter who does the ordaining, I believe that in the beginning that The Lord wanted the priesthood to go from righteous father to righteous son whenever possible. I take this from the book of Abraham, where he "Sought for the blessings of the fathers, and the right whereunto I should be ordained to administer the same; having been myself a follower of righteousness, desiring also to be one who possessed great knowledge, and to be a greater follower of righteousness, and to possess a greater knowledge, and to be a father of many nations, a prince of peace, and desiring to receive instructions, and to keep the commandments of God, I became a rightful heir, a High Priest, holding the right belonging to the fathers."

I am humbled and honored to be able to pass on my line of authority to my sons. It is a privilege to be able to do that sacred ordinance.

Do not take this opportunity lightly.

Love

Grandpa

The articles of faith revisited for my grandchildren.

The articles of faith revisited for my grandchildren.
Recently it was brought to my attention that one of the first definitions of the word faith in the English language was loyalty. With that in mind I would like to refer to the articles of faith to include loyalty.

We can call this the articles of loyalty to God.

First we are loyal to God the Eternal Father and to his son Jesus Christ and to the Holy Ghost.

We are then loyal to the doctrine revealed by God to the prophet Joseph Smith.

Each of the statements in our Articles of Faith delineate our commitment and loyalty to those principles which make up the core doctrines of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

Both James E. Talmage and Bruce R. McConkie have written books about the Articles of Faith. You should know and do what these principles espouse. You probably learned to repeat these (The Articles of Faith) by memory in primary. It takes more than being able to quote them. If you do not believe them and practice them in your life, they will be as sounding brass and tinkling cymbals signifying nothing.

Ask yourself do you really believe in being honest? Are you not only a truthful person, but are you true to God and his commandments? One of the questions asked in an interview for a temple recommend is; are you honest in your dealings with your fellow men?

Are you chaste? This refers to thoughts as well as actions.

How many of you know what being benevolent means? How can you be benevolent if you do not understand what kind of attribute it is? Look it up in the dictionary.

The scripture admonishes us to let virtue garnish our thoughts unceasingly so that our confidence will wax strong in the presence of God. We need to know what virtue means; otherwise we only pay lip service to this characteristic. As an example: advertisements and TV programs that invite us to shun virtue and become worldly in our attitude surround us.

Do we do good to all men? We are to treat our friends and our enemies the same. This is hard to do, but if we are loyal to God, we will treat them as He would.

The next statement is about belief, hope and endurance. A runner that does not finish the race has not endured. The actual thing we want to do is endure in faith and loyalty to God to the end of our mortal existence.

We must the constantly seek for good, that which is lovely or worthy of praise by righteous people. We need to be comfortable in the presence of the kings and queens of the world, because you my grandchildren are destined to become the kings and queens of the king of heaven. He is refined and you might want to read Elder Callister's talk on our refined heavenly home at this link.

By loyal to the royal in you.

Love,
Grandpa

An escatological moment

An eschatological[1] moment

This was written on 2 November 2011.  This is obviously a letter to someone, which I have edited now in 2014 and expanded.

I hope that my ramblings will make some sense to you.  You asked what advice I could give to you.  I have pondered a lot about that.  The advice of men and particularly my advice is probably not worth much.  It is the gospel of Jesus Christ that gives us the insight that we need at times like this.

I will only relate here a few disjointed observations.  You can, with a gentle breath, blow the chaff away.

A number of years ago, I took a class from Hugh Nibley.  He talked about eschatology.  That is; the pondering of life, death and what he described as the “terrible questions”.  We are only forced to think about them when we have an eschatological moment.  That is some event in our life that forces us to look hard at the future in terms of our mortality.  This happened to me in 1991 when I discovered that I had a brain tumor.  I was fifty-seven years of age. It was the size of a billiard ball and had been growing slowly over a number of years.  The surgery lasted 8 hours and I came through without any sequelae.  Although I had always been a good member of the church and read the scriptures and had felt that I was literate, I realized that my outlook needed to change.  I suddenly realized that I was mortal.  I took a hard look at what I was doing and decided to change. 

Things that had been priorities were not that important anymore.  Although change is not easy, I think that it requires more effort than we realize.  What happened is that it changed my priorities.  I knew that I could not be everything to everybody.  My family came first now more than ever.  It has been a slow but steady process for me.  Fortunately I have had 20 years to do this.  As I have grown in years, I have found new challenges and new things to do.  I have tried to do things that my father, grandfather and great-grandfather had not done.  I have documented my family history and now I am writing a blog called “Letters from Grandpa”.  The reason is; I want to, in someway, connect to my posterity in a personal way. 

When we get to the age when we turn our thoughts to our posterity, we are usually to old to make any impact in their lives.  You have grandchildren who will remember you and what you have done for them. That is important. The relationship with people and in particular family members is the most important of any relationship. Our impact on people and society in general will long be forgotten as in the case of Ozymandias,[2] a poem written by Percy Shelly which ends:

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Most of us will not have the impact on civilization that Ramsesses II had, but unless we do something to develop the relationship with our posterity, it will be like the “lone and level sands”, of no consequence to those who follow after.

I suppose that writing letters in my ancestor’s day and doing blogs and writing published writings is a way of connecting to our posterity through the ages.  I think of Mormon’s letters to his son Moroni that have echoed through the centuries and are relevant to us and to his posterity who do not even know the connection to their patriarch.  Perhaps by leaving our observations on life and putting in our “two cents worth” we can connect by the spirit to those yet unborn who will never know us personally. 

Family reunions have a place in developing relationships, but in most of the ones that I have been to, the age groups connect, but the youth only develop a superficial knowledge of the elderly.  Rarely does the teenager sit down and have an in depth conversation with the grandparent. 

My Aunt Alta had a remarkable way of connecting with her grandchildren. She was in close proximity with her grandchildren.  She only had two children and her sons lived in the same city.  They came over for sleepovers and sugar cookies. Later on they found in her someone that was interested in what they were doing and encouraged their creativity. A couple of them even started a business in her basement. Proximity can foster these types of bonding.  In my case the only grandparent that really was around me was my grandmother Stucki, because she lived in our home for some of the time.

Now that I am older, I wish I had talked more in depth with her.  I only have a short history of her life and a written testimony, nothing more about her feelings and her desires.  These are the things that can bond the generations.  We never think that our ancestors had similar problems and challenges in their life, although logic tells us that they must have gone through like experiences.

So, because I cannot sit down and give pony rides on my back to my great grandchildren and rarely did for my grandchildren, I write the thoughts of my heart.  Perhaps some day they will connect in a way that will have some eternal significance in their life. Reading the scriptures and listening to general conference will help to guide them on the path to eternal life, but if the same instruction came from grandpa, it might sink deeper into their memory and spiritual brain to instruct them more perfectly in the things of eternal worth.  As I wrote at the beginning, it is the gospel of Jesus Christ that gives us the insight that we need at times like this. 

The times and challenges that await my posterity will require that they be rooted and grounded in the gospel as at no other time in history.  I hope, in some way, to light their path in times of darkness and despair.

Love,

Grandpa

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[1] The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as "concerned with ‘the four last things: death, judgment, heaven, and hell’".

[2] In antiquity, Ozymandias was an alternative name for the Egyptian pharaoh Ramesses II. Shelley began writing his poem in 1817, soon after the announcement of the British Museum's acquisition of a large fragment of a statue of Ramesses II from the thirteenth-century BCE, and some scholars consider that Shelley was inspired by this. The 7.25-ton fragment of the statue's head and torso had been removed in 1816 from the mortuary temple of Ramesses at Thebes by the Italian adventurer Giovanni Battista Belzoni (1778–1823).

Distraction

Or the story of the Cinnamon toast

I was making cinnamon toast for breakfast the other morning. I put the buttered bread and sugar and cinnamon into the broiler. Because there was something on the computer that needed to finish I went over to the computer and did not watch what was happening. As a result I burned the cinnamon toast. I could smell it burning from my station at the computer. The smell of burnt toast filled the entire house. There was no hiding my mistake. My good wife remarked,  "It looks like you have burned the toast."

Of course I had to sheepishly admit that I had made a great mistake. Fortunately all the damage that was done was burnt toast, which I promptly disposed of in the garbage.

I thought this might be something that I could enlarge upon as an object lesson for our lives.

Living here upon the earth we are constantly surrounded by distractions. There are all kinds of distractions to divert us away from our true purpose for which we were sent here. There are so many distractions here that one would have difficulty delineating them all.

Just as trying to multitask cooking cinnamon toast and checking a computer problem result in burnt offerings the distractions that are present in this life can lead to a much more disastrous outcome . We could lose eternal life and the blessings of this life,

Let me just mention a few distraction that I have observed that keep our attention diverted from those things that will enlarge our souls and expand our understanding of the eternal principles of knowledge.

Video games.

There is nothing inherently wrong with recreation, but when the recreation becomes the dominant time consumer in our life it ends up being a major distraction and waste of precious time.  My mother used to say,  "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of."[1]

There are many young people who let the video game distract them from homework, household chores, sleep and exercise.  It may even go so far as to interfere with service to The Lord. I recently heard of one young man who said he could not take the time to go on a mission for he was so important to his on- line video game partners that he could not take the two years out of his life to serve a mission for The Lord.

Sports

The pursuit of sports is a diversion when we let it interfere with our observance of the Sabbath day, our attendance to the temple, our family home evenings and reading of the scriptures. It may begin quite innocently, but if not properly monitored, it can divert us from our goal of obtaining eternal life.

Television

I have been told by someone that the home teachers could not come to visit because it would interfere with the family's favorite sit com program on television. This seems to me in contra distinction to the mandate to seek first the kingdom of God. I realize that many visits from the home teachers lack the spirituality that is necessary to bring people to God, but that is no excuse to yield to this distraction.

Social media

Is being abreast of things on Facebook or Twitter more important than learning the things of God?

Look at the things that you post. Are they uplifting and bring a closer relationship or are they full of complaints? Who wants to hear about your ingrown toenail or pimples on your face or an ill fitting dress?  I read about people's frustrations and negative experiences. What good does it do? Who does it lift and make a better person? This is a distraction from the mandate to love one another, mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort and stand as a witness of God in all places, yea even the Internet.
 
Satan wants us to be diverted from our quest to return to our Father. If he can provide enough worldly distractions, he will then bind us with his awful chains and lead us carefully down to hell.

Keep your 'eye on the ball' and do not be distracted or you too may do more than burn the cinnamon toast.
Love,
Grandpa

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[1] Benjamin Franklin

Of Light and Darkness

1 John 1:5 ”God is light and in him is no darkness at all.”

The other night I was going to make sure that there was a stamp on an envelope to go out in the mail the next morning and I did not turn on the light in the room. As I walked into the living room and tried to find the stamp in the dark, I had difficulty in seeing and I wanted to make sure that I did not stumble over the furniture.

I left the lighted bedroom and found my way in the dark and that was the part that was difficult. As I turned around, suddenly I could see much clearer.  I could see all of furniture although it was dark, because the light from the bedroom illuminated things (although very dimly), but I could now see the furniture and my way through the room.

When we wander away from the light of the gospel and the light of Christ and the light that our Father in Heaven sheds upon us, then we do not see very clearly.

This gave me the idea for this blog.

When we turn around and go toward the light then we see more clearly and are able to avoid the obstacles that are placed in our way. To quote another scripture in D&C 50: 24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.

Those who do not actively seek to know and understand the gospel are turning their back on the light. It is akin to the vision of Lehi. Many people lost their way in the mists of darkness and wandered on forbidden paths and were lost, because they let go of the iron rod and turned their back on the light.

We sing the song,” Teach me to walk in the light of His love”. The next time you sing this song think of turning from the dark into the light and being able to see your way more clearly.

Remember that this is not a passive activity.  It requires work and study and diligence on your part. You cannot seek light by sitting and wishing. You must actively study and pray or the light will never come.  We must keep the commandments and love our neighbors and all fellow men.

1 John 2:11 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.

The gospel and the Savior are the light of the world.

Please walk in the light.

Love,

Grandpa

Thoughts on becoming eighty years of age.

When I was born the life expectancy for a male was about 59 years. Of course that means that the infectious diseases of the time claimed the lives of many young children. There were people who lived longer, but the greater majority died earlier. The women lived about 4 years longer than the men at that time.

There were people that were born at that time who have lived to my age, but if the tables are correct only half of the people born in 1934 in the United States lived past the age of 59.

There will be an ever-increasing number of us who will die during the next decade.

I was fortunate to have survived Scarlet Fever and pneumonia in the first two years of my earthly existence. I got measles, mumps, chicken pox, whopping cough and German Measles. There were no complications in my case.

So when I reflect back upon my life I am blessed to live as long as I have.

I have lived in an age where technology has blessed my life.  I had a crystal set radio to listen with earphones when we lived in Denver. My parents had a radio with vacuum tubes. We did not have TV to watch until I first saw it at my aunt's house my freshman year in college and could watch 3 channels on a 12-inch screen.  Now we have a 42-inch, wide screen, high definition TV to watch over 250 channels and the only reason the screen isn't larger is because it won't fit into the space in our house. One could argue that television is more of a curse than a blessing.

I used to have to go to a theater to watch a movie. We now can watch movies on Netflix or You Tube or pull out one of about 150 DVDs from our own library or an equal number of VHS tapes that we own to watch on demand.

When I was in high school my father bought a phonograph. We did not own one of the 78-rpm players. We bought a 45-rpm player with a record changer that would play ten records, one after another. We used the radio speaker to amplify the sound.

We bought a number of albums and a few single records.

When I got my inheritance money from my grandfather Gee in 1965, I bought a 33 1/3-rpm high fidelity system with large speakers and we started collecting long play record albums. We collected and played these records. We still have all of the records, but we rarely listen to them even though we have a high fidelity system.

We never owned a wire recorder. We did purchase a couple of tape recorders. We bought a four track stereo tape recorder and a number of tapes to play.

We then went to eight track continuous play tapes. We had an eight track tape player in the car and one at home.

The compact cassette tapes and players replaced the eight track players. We collected a number of tapes of this variety.

When compact disks or CDs came on the scene we found those to our liking and began collecting those and bought a player that would play our records, compact cassette tapes and CDs.  We have a number of CDs including 25 just of Christmas songs.

My children gave me an iPod so that I could have music wherever I went. These tunes were transferred over to my iPhone, which soon became overloaded with music and other apps.

I was first introduced to cellular or mobile phones on our mission to Germany. They call them handies there. I carried one for three years and became so attached to them that I bought one when I came home. We got another one in Moscow and then again when we came back and have not been without one since.

I will have to write a chapter in my history entitled "Computers and Me" Needless to say they have been a part of my life.

And so technology has blessed my life.

Family history or genealogy has been a great interest and I have more work now than I will ever have time to accomplish in this life. I will entitle one chapter in my history to this subject.

And so family history has blessed my life.

The most important thing that I have done in my life of eighty years is to marry the right girl in the right place under the right authority at the right time of my life, then to be the father of eight children. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to see them grow and mature and have families and children and grandchildren of their own.

Recently in celebration of my four score years at a family reunion family night, I was privileged to address my assembled posterity and bear them my witness of the truthfulness of the restored gospel. I became quite emotional as I realized what a responsibility it was to bring eight children into this world and to teach them of their Father in Heaven and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I cannot express in the least how overpowering and daunting this task is and how inadequate I feel at this time.

There is no going back and starting over. If I live as long as my parents did, I hope that I will stand true to the cause of Christ and be a positive influence in the lives of my posterity.

My wife and family have blessed my life, and more abundantly than here expressed.

I hope one day to stand before the judgment bar of God and be able to assent to the appellation of having been true and faithful in all things and hear the words spoken, "Well done."

And so the gospel of Christ has blessed my life. There is no space to enumerate the ways.

Thus, now on to the rest of my life.

Four Little Words

Aspire
Contend
Coerce
Excuse

I recently heard a talk given by a member of the temple presidency. He took the above words and said that these were tools that Satan uses to divert people to his cause. If you remember Satan used each of these characteristics in the pre-existence before he was cast out of his father's presence for rebellion.
If you look around you, you will see these characteristics in people that you know and people in the news.

Aspire

In the pre-existence Satan aspired to try to replace God. Now using this principle people are led to think that rising to the top is the goal we need to achieve in this life.  They have little thought about the life after this one. They are only focused on the here and now. They have not understood the principles of the gospel. To aspire to worldly things is contrary to the gospel plan. A brief look at the parable of the workers in the vineyard will give us an understanding of how the world should conform to the true principles of the gospel. The workers each got the same pay for different amounts of labor. All The Lord of the vineyard asked of them was to labor with their might and to do their best. So my dear grandchildren it is not important to be the best in worldly pursuits or to aspire to greatness. As the song says, "Do what is right, let the consequence follow." This means that of each is required constant improvement through our whole life enduring in faith to the end.

Contend

After Satan was rejected his next step was to bring about contention. He rose up in rebellion. Notice how this occurs in our world. When someone is disappointed or frustrated, they get defensive and begin to respond by retaliation or contention. Let us look at the forms of contention that appear in our world.

First is war. War is the product of Satan's influence in this life and his challenge in retaliation to his being banished and that he will eventually be defeated. We are promised that in our days and until Christ comes again that there will be wars and rumors of wars.  This contention is deadly. It causes death and destruction. Many have lost their homes. Many have been injured. The contention of war never solves anything. Satan inspires war.

One of the prominent displays of contention that is seen in our society is in politics. Political parties take the philosophies of men and when one does not agree with another they rise up in great swelling words to prove their point and contend with one another inviting Satan to take part in the exchange of words. This is sometimes referred to as debate.  In the early days of the church some of the brethren formed a debating society. One of those who was involved was William Smith, the prophet's brother. Some of the discussion got quite heated. The prophet Joseph told them that contention was counter to the principles of the restored gospel and asked them to disband the debating society. William got so angry with his brother that he attacked him physically.

The most destructive form of contention occurs within the walls of our homes and in our families. One of the ways Satan tries to destroy the family is to cause friction between husband and wife and between family members. The spirit of the Lord cannot dwell where there is contention. There is no contention in the presence of The Lord.  Christ said, ' Peace I leave with you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not you heart be troubled.' We are to have peace and not contention in the home. King Benjamin admonished the parents of his day that they should not let their children fight and quarrel with one another and serve the devil who is the master of sin.

We are bombarded by TV advertisements that encourage us to contend one with another by employing the service of an attorney. The object of this endeavor is to get gain.  The attorney is skilled at manipulating people and institutions to his advantage [under] the pretense of justice for the individual.  This is contention disguised as altruism.  In the end it only fosters ill feelings. Money is the object of this endeavor.  Satan's golden question is, " Have you any money?" Do not fall into this trap. Note that a great many TV shows dwell on contention.

Coercion

To coerce is to force someone to do something. It usually means to break down the opposition. This can occur either by physical force or by manipulation of the individual. The Lord put it this way; " No power or influence can or ought to be maintained ... only by persuasion and long suffering and gentleness and meekness and love unfeigned." Earlier in this instruction it talks about control, dominion and compulsion.  We find this in many of the interactions that take place around us. The first one that comes to mind is the temper tantrum. As a pediatrician I saw this behavior many times. If it is rewarded, it becomes a destructive character trait in the life of the individual. It is a form of manipulation to get ones way. This is seen in children and adults. The adult may not lie down on the floor and kick and scream, but they can have temper tantrums just as manipulative.

On the broader scene we see it in a different form. It is called a demonstration. People are enticed (and I use that word deliberately) to gather in what may be termed a mob and protest to coerce the government or individuals involved to change an ideal, law, opinion, or practice that someone does not agree with. These demonstrations became a popular way to coerce when I was growing up. The 1960 era was the start of the so-called 'sit in'. It even goes so far as to involve people demonstrating because a dog was shot by a police officer.
Manipulation is a subtle form of coercion. It is a selfish way of saying 'I am right and I will only do it my way.'  Bargaining is in a way a form of manipulation.
Here is an example of bargaining as a way of manipulation.  My children used to sing it.

Tell me a story, tell me a story
Tell me a story before I go to bed;
You promised me, you said you would,
You gotta give in ‘cause I’ve been good,
Tell me a story before I go to bed.

Although this may seem rather innocuous, it contains a subtle manipulation.

We all do this from time to time without realizing what we are doing, but it is a tool of the world and will not be found in the presence of God. If we want to live in the presence of God and be like him, we will not practice coercion in any form.

Excuse

The last of this group of Satan's tools of destruction is one of the most used. This does not refer to the note written by the parent to explain why the child missed school because of illness, although some times this can be detrimental to the character because it may not be truthful.

Excuses are used to rationalize behavior that is destructive to the integrity of the individual. We have all used it at some time in our life. We try to blame people or circumstances for shortcomings on our part rather than admit to failure in our behavior. We all are imperfect. We all make mistakes. But to rationalize our behavior by not taking responsibility for our own actions is soul destructive. This is a form of substitute repentance, which salves our conscience, but does not refine our character and does not qualify us for the atonement of Jesus Christ. It may become so prevalent in our behavior that we are entirely oblivious to it in our life. To quote Nephi, ' And thus he (Satan) binds them with his awful chains and leads them carefully down to hell!' We are bound by our own rejection of the attributes of God. We become satisfied by the ersatz when we could have the genuine. No wonder they will weep and wail and gnash their teeth when they discover how their character has been destroyed by their own actions. A line from Shakespeare comes to mind: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings."

Do not excuse your behavior in any way. Recognize your faults openly and ask for forgiveness and repent with full purpose of heart. God will not take excuses, so why should we offer them to anyone, let alone our Father in Heaven.
 
In summary: do not aspire to position, do not contend, never coerce and avoid excusing your behavior,

Love,
Grandpa